SHIVERS: Don't tell your mother (Book One)

chapter one: lets talk about suicide

Suicide. I hate it. It’s a horrible thing…when you do it…you leave multiple family and friends devastated…trust me I should know…I committed that crime I always thought was horrible. And this story is about how and why it happened…let me start from the beginning…
    “AGHHHHHHHH! DAMMIT!” I yelled slamming my fists on my keyboard and glaring at the computer screen. “Why didn’t they tell me the deadline was today. Those bastards.” I growl and a knock sounds on my door, my mother opens the door and turns on the light with a frown. 
   “Alex…please stop hiding away in your room in the dark all the time…your gonna concern the neighbours…” my mother said. I frowned and relaxed. 
   My mother was a tall lean woman with bright shimmery blue eyes and long brown hair, she was the type of woman that would attract men. Yet…she’s still single sense my dad died. 
    I smile fakely “alright fine..” 
She sighed “thank you…by the way you have an appointment with your new therapist today” she said, my eyes widened. “N-new?” I asked.
   She nodded “dr. Grant overdosed not to long ago…” she said, I sighed “oh.”
    Drugs. Another thing I hate. I’ve had so many family members use drugs to commit suicide, so I hate even doctors saying they’re gonna put me on pills.
   “What’s their name?” 
“His name is Dr. Rodriguez…he’s a professional so he should be able to help…” 
   Oh yeah. Did I mention I have a serious case of ADHD, Anxiety, and Depression? That’s why I have a therapist. 
   “Alright, I’ll meet you outside in a few minutes” I said, mom nodded and then left my room closing the door quietly before leaving. 
  “alright, I’ll pick you up in a bit” mom said as I got out of the car, I nodded and walked through the doors of the behavioural health office and checked myself in. 
   I sat silently in a chair and dozed off a bit when I heard my name “Alexander Martinez..?” It was a deep and sexy voice and with a slight Mexican accent. I opened my eyes slowly and locked eyes with my new therapist.
         He was tall, and muscular. He had dark brown curly hair with freckles and a beauty mark right below his left eye, his skin was tanner then my mothers and I don’t know what it was but I felt my heart stop. 
         “y-yes, that’s me.” I stood up and followed him back to his office. But surprisingly…he looked really young. Like REALLY young. Like he just graduated.
         I pushed my thoughts to the back of my mind as I sat down on the familiar black velvet couch and leaned back. “So, I am your new therapist Dr. Rodriguez…I am here to help you, not care for you so don’t get any ideas. And last but not least, I HATE people like you.” He said. I growled and glared at him before he looked down at his papers again. 
         He looked up at me and I avoided eye contact, he scowled and crossed his arms “let’s start with some questions” he said, I nodded and looked down at my hands. 
   “So, your name is Alexander Martinez…” 
“Yes…sir.” I hesitated. 
     “Your 19, and living with your mother?” 
“Yes sir…”
      “Do you take any sort of medicine?”
“No sir. I refuse to take things like that” I looked up and saw a glimmer in his eyes before he cleared his throat and it disappeared. 
       “It says here you have anxiety?”
“Yes sir” I cringed at how many times I had said “yes sir” 
        “Depression?”
“Yes sir” 
        “And ADHD?” 
“Yes sir” 
    He nods and writes something onto his paper, I sighed and look at the small water fountain perched on the side stand next to the couch. 
       “Alright…have you had an anxiety attack recently?”
I shake my head.
      “Have you had any recent events happen to you that would cause you to be diagnosed with depression”
I hesitate “u-um…no sir” 
     His eyes narrow and he nods skeptically. 
“Have you ever attempted to commit suicide” 
 My eyes widen and I hide my face beneath my bangs and I shake my head. “N-no sir… I haven’t…” 
     He growled and set down his clipboard, “are you lying.” He asked angrily. 
     I growled and whipped my head up “WHY THE HELL DO YOU CARE?!” I yelled. His eyes widened but narrowed and he stood up before walking over and placing his hand next to my head and leaning towards me. His face was inches from mine and I could smell the fresh mint on his breath, he growled. 
    “Do I need to repeat myself…Alex.” He drew out my name and I growled. 
     “I do not. “Care” for my patients. I’m here to help and to earn money for a living. I’m here to accomplish my life dream of being a doctor. Not “care” he growled. 
      My eyes widened and I blushed slightly before pushing him away “then why are you even here. Therapists are supposed to “care” and “help” not treat their patients like shit.” I said before slamming open the door and leaving. 
     Dr. Asshole ran out of the room and stopped in his doorway, his eyes wide and frowned “Alex! You’re appointment isn’t over yet!” He yelled. 
    I rolled my eyes and turned towards him, “when an asshole like you is my therapist I don’t “care” what time my appointment ends.” I drew out the word “care” and stormed out of the place before stopping outside and plopping down on a bench.
I groaned and plopped onto my bed and snuggled my face into my pillow “hellooo sleep paralysis demon” I grinned and started to doze off when Dr. Asshole’s face popped into my mind, I shot up into a sitting position and growled “why the hell am I thinking about that jerk.” I snarled.
         I sighed and his reaction when I said I refuse to take medication popped into my head, my eyes widen. “No way…it’s up.” My voice cracks a bit and I look down to see that my member is standing straight, I blush and put my hands over it. “Why did I get hard over him” I growl. 
 “morning Alex…” mom said as I exited my room and grabbed an energy drink. “Mornin” 
    “Need à ride to school today?” She asked, I shook my head “katelynn is pickin me up at the bus stop” mom smiled. 
    “Katelynn really is a nice girl, you should ask her to the prom” she said, I frowned
         “she’s just a friend mom…” I said, she frowned and nodded “well, I’m gonna head to work I’ll see you after school” she said kissing my forehead then leaving, I sighed and threw out the uneaten pop tart and grabbing my bag before walking to the bus stop and waiting for Katelynn. 
           “Hey there, weirdo” Katelynn said popping up behind me and giving me a knuckle sandwich. I groaned and went limp “oh no…I killed him” she said dramatically. “Oh no! I’ve come back as a zombie!” I said putting my arms out and imitating a zombie, she giggled and I smiled. 
         “so are you actually showing up to school today?” She asked, I nodded and she smiled “thank god, I’ve been really lonely lately with you skippin’”she said, I smiled and walked with her to the school.
         After school, Katelynn and I parted ways as I walked to work. 
I yawned and slouched halfway there when I spotted multiple pairs of shoes stop in front of me. I stopped and looked up, meeting eyes with the craziest, most popular kid at school…Kylan Flory. 
         He grinned and locked eyes with me “well look what we have here men…another FREAK to beat on…” he said. My eyes widened and he grabbed me by the collar before dragging me into a dark alley. 
         He slammed me against the brick wall and sneered “listen here Freak. Make a sound and I’ll make sure my dad kills you. Now I’m going to teach you a lesson” he said. 
          He pulled his arm back as if to let loose an arrow and punched me, my nose started bleeding and I whimpered “awww, the little puppy is injured…let’s help it men.” He said, I knew that wasn’t good news.
         He grabbed me and slammed me to the ground before pinning me and taking out a switchblade from his uniform pocket and dragging it across my cheek. I cried out and he slapped me “shut up!” He said. 
I growled “s-stop…” I said. 
        He sneered “no one…tells me what to do.” He said, before a thick familiar Mexican accent floated through the air. “Well I’m about to if you don’t let my patient go.” 
     I turned my head slightly and saw Dr. Asshole standing at the entrance of the alley, my vision blurred in and out, my eye was bruised and swollen so I couldn’t see out of it, I had cuts all over me. 
         Tears sprung from my eyes and Dr. Asshole growled, then everything was black and all I heard were yells of pain. 
  I stirred and attempted to open my eyes but winced in pain, “don’t move.” The same accent from earlier demanded. I opened one eye and caught sight of Dr. Asshole holding a rag to my forehead. I blushed but dismissed it and pushed myself up before wincing. “I told you not to move” he said.
         I growled and pushed his hand away from my head “you should’ve let them. I was perfectly fine.” I said, his eyes widened and he growled. “So you’re telling me you wouldn’t have cared if they killed you.” He said, I could tell his anger was rising. 
         “no. I wouldn’t have cared.” I growled and stood up weakly. “Stop! You’re gonna hurt yourself.” Dr. Asshole said. I growled and walked away his hand “I’m already hurt! Can you not see that!? I’ve been hurt sense I was 3!” I yelled. His eyes widened and he sighed “sorry…” 
         “forget it. I’m leaving.” 
“Hey! Hold on!” He yelled as I grabbed my bag, “what.” I said turning around. 
         “I’m sorry about what I said at the office. To be honest I had no right to say that, after all we’re not to far apart in age…” Dr. Asshole said. I raised an eyebrow “what?” 
         “your 19 right?” I nodded and he smiled “were 3 years apart.” He finished. My eyes widened “your 23? No wonder your such an ass” I replied, he snickered. 
         “I’d say the same to you. But lemme guess you already have a jerk name for me huh?” He said. “How the hell do you know?” I asked, he laughed “a lot of people gave me asshole-ish nicknames back in college”he said. 
         “oh….”
“So, mind telling me what my nickname is?” He asked, I growled. 
“Dr. Asshole.” I said, his eyes widened and he threw his head back and laughed. “Now that’s a new one…” he said. 
         I frowned and opened the door to leave when he stopped me once again “are you coming to your appointment tomorrow…?” 
         I sighed “maybe.” I swung my book bag on my shoulder and walked out.
“Hey! Alex”
        I turned and dr. Asshole looked at me concerned “do you want a ride?” He asked, my heart stopped and I nodded “okay, wait there. I’m gonna get my keys” he said, I sighed and waited. 
After what seemed like twenty years Dr.Asshole and I walked out to his car, it was simple but it was nice. I climbed into the passenger seat and he started the cry. 
            “It’s gotten quite late, I hope your mother will understand” he said, “don’t tell her.” I said. His eyes widened and he frowned “but she needs to know Alex.” He said, I growled and let my head droop. “I don’t care…don’t tell her..” I mumbled, he frowned “I have to” “DON’T FUCKING TELL HER DAMMIT!” I yelled, he was taken a back and sighed “alright…I won’t tell her…” he whispered. 
         The rest of the car ride was silent and when we showed up I opened the door but he grabbed my wrist “hey Alex.” He said. 
    I looked at him “you remind me of someone…from when I was a senior at kaguyama high…”he said. 
         My eyes widened as his face locked into my mind and I remember the one senior that helped me all the time at the school, I had grown a crush on that senior and then he graduated and it hurt…part of that was how I became depressed. 
         I clenched my fists “you asshole.” I said, he raised a perfect eyebrow. “Huh?” I looked at him, tears in my eyes and growled “you’re the reason I’ve been hurt all this time! You’re the one who pushed that dumb sophomore girl onto me so I wouldn’t be lonely!” I yelled. 
         His eyes widened and I growled “your face hasn’t changed one bit.” I slammed shut the door and ran up to my house.