The girl with bulimia (Nash grier fanfic) *May Trigger*

Chapter 16

"I'm sorry about what I've done to you." Nash says. "I can't just forgive you." I say.
"I know I want to make it up to you." Nash says. "how because you can't make up for the permanent pain and hurt you have caused me." I say tears now falling down my cheek. He reaches and wipes it away. I look at him. "why are you being nice to me I know you hate me." I say. "I hate myself too." I mumble. "maybe I like you, maybe that's why I'm being nice to you." Nash says. i laugh. "like that's true no one does." I say. "Matt Shawn and Kilani does." he says. "they don't count." I say more tears falling down my face. "you know you and the others cause me to do things to myself I'm not telling you about." I say. "I know what you do remember I caught you I promise not to tell." He says. "How can I trust, because I can't because you just me to much Nash." I say now sobbing. "please just trust me." he says and I see his eyes start to gloss. at the point I realized maybe he is trying to truly be nice but I can't trust him not yet he's caused me to much pain and to hurt myself and others I love. "I can't even smile or laugh because you hurt me to much Hamilton." I say. I started calling him by his first name once it got to the point where I couldn't bare the hurt anymore. he looks down. "I'm sorry." he says. "Sorry isn't enough Hamilton." I say getting up. Then I feel him grab my arm. "l-let me go Nash please." I say now scared. then I feel his lips smash into my but this time was different from the first time we sat on the balcony. I kissed back. soon I pull away frighten. "and stop doing
That* I say and walk back in tears pour down my face I get in bed and fall alseep.
Soon It was morning.
Today is our last day in this area for magcon soon we will be going to chicago but we are going home for a week. I get up before Kilani. I grab a dress and a oversized sweater a bow and my Jeffery Campbell boots and knee socks. today I felt the need to look nice even though I never do because I'm a fat ass. I get go to the bathroom undress and just see my fat figure from my legs to my arms to my chin and finally my horrible stomach. I replay everything that happens last night with Nash. I sigh and run my hand through my hair. I tie it into a bun and get in the shower and do the usual routine. I
When I get out the shower I throw up and get dressed and I walk out and see Taylor and Nash gone. so it's only Kilani and I.
I lay back on the bed next to kilani. "I know you and the devil talk last night." Kilani says. I sigh. "Yeah we did." I say looking down. "What did you talk about." she says sitting up. "he asked me about why I did what I did in the bathroom and everything came pouring out of me and he caught me in the bathroom at home throwing up ms um he um." I say. "He what Lina." Kilani says. "kisses me." I say quietly and I feel tears come to my eyes. "whats wrong with him he is such a ughhhh." she says. " I um kisses back but then I told him stop doing that." I say looking down. "I'm sorry Lina." Kilani says hugging me. I hug back. "let's go find the others to clear your mind. yeah?" She says. "yeah." I say. Kilani gets up and goes to bag and grabs her outfit and goes into the bathroom to change. when she gets out we grab our purses and find the boys. We find them in Matt room. Kilani and I walk in to the boys smack caming each other. we walk over to mahogany and sits next to her. "hey girl hey." she says. "hey."I say smiling. "these boys are crazy." she says laughing. "I know try living with one." I say. "no thank you." she says. Kilani and I laugh. "ooo Shawn coming over lani." mahogany says. "ssssshhhh." Kilani says. "hey lani I was wondering maybe you andi can go out to eat later." Shawn says. "sure." she says. Shawn walks away and I look at Kilani raising a eyebrow. "she's got a date." mahogany yells. all the boys cheer and pay Shawn on the back and Kilani just blush. I hug Kilani and get up and walk to the balcony and sit. I look at the beautiful sky. I sigh. I start to let my thoughts consume me. "malina." I look to the side and see Nash. can't he learn to leave me alone. "what do you want."i say. "I
Nothing I was just wondering if you wanted to go out tonight as friends." he says. "why should I." i say. "so I can at least try to make up for the things that aren't permanent." he says. "I'll think about I say getting up and walking back into the room." I say. I sit back down next to Kilani. she smiles at me and I smile back softly. my head tells me not to go with Nash but my heart is telling me to go. Its hard this is my bully what if he is just trying to finally kill me or what of he is trying to be genuine. "Malina let's go eat." Kilani and mahogany says. "But Kilani." I say so only she can hear. "your coming and I am ordering. I sigh and get up and we leave out and head downstairs and out of the hotel to chick-fil-a. Kilani orders us chicken sandwich and fries. Mahogany got the sane thing. Kilani makes me eat half and I feel sick. When we get back to the hotel her and Shawn leave. mahogany went to Jacobs room. I guess I'm going to my room. I sigh and walk to my room and I walk in and see Matt and Nash talking. I run and jump on Matt. " hey Li Li." he says. "Hi." I say. "nuzzling my head into him. "what's the matter." he asks? "Nothing I say. "you only do this when so etching wrong Lina Bina." he says. "nothing's wrong Matt can't I just hug my twin." I say getting up a little mad that he's questioning me. "ok Jezz sorry." he says. I walk to the bathroom and slam the door. I rub my hands on my face fustrated. I sit on the floor my back to the door and try to calm down. Soon I was at the toilet throwing up with the sink and fan on so the boys can't hear me. Once I finished I walked out. "Nash let's go." I say. "go where?" He says. "you said you want to hang come on I do t have all night." I say. "ok." he says getting up. I hug Matt and kiss his cheek. he walks out to his room. Nash and I head to the elevator and get in when it comes. "where are we going." I asks quietly. "the beach." he says. "ok." I say. soon we arrive to the lobby and leave out the back way since the fans are in the front. we walk to the beach and when we got there I took off my shoes. I saw how shirt I was compared to Nash it kind of scared me. we sit on the sand. "Malina I'm sorry about what I've do e and said the past 4 years." he says. "I'm not forgiving you that fast I already told you that Nash." I say. "I know and I won't stop until you do." he says. "you know you make me scared to go to school." I say. "I know." he says looking down. I sigh. "I bet I caused you depression and anxiety." he says. I don't say anything knowing it's true. "can we stop talking about my problems." I say looking away so he won't see me crying. he reaches for my chin and turns my face towards him and wipes my tears away. "Stop crying." he says. "how can I you cause me to hurt my self starve myself make myself throw up and then you start being nice to me it just doesn't work like that." I say. "I know and I hate myself for treating you like that and I-I didn't know I caused you to do that go yourself." he said and I see a tears fall from his eyes I reach a wipe them out of instinct. he smiles at me. then he picks me up and runs towards the water. "Hamilton stop this is my favorite outfit stop put me down." I say. "not until you stop calling me Hamilton and give me a chance." he says. "fine fine I'll give you one chance Nash." I say. "good." he says putting me down. I pick up sand and throw it at him and start running. "hey no fair." he says running after me. I run away from him laughing for real for the first time in years.
He catches me and spins me around. I missed having him as my friend. "we should head back." I say smiling. "Yeah we should." he says smiling. he grabs my hand and holds it and we walk back to the hotel together we get to our room and see a note from Taylor and Kilani.
Kilani saying she's stating in Shawn's room and Taylor was staying in the jacks. I get up and grab my pajamas and walk into the bathroom and turn on the shower the hate running through my head still and my fat image in the mirror bringing tears to my eyes I get in and shower wash my hair and body. I got out and put on yoga shorts a oversized shirt and knee socks and my necklace. i walk out and put my clothes in my bag and lay in Kilani and I bed and I see Nash walk into the bathroom. once I hear the shower turn on I go on twitter and I just see the hate and about the girls from the event yesterday and people laughing at it and making comments like "haha I bet she does." "she can't lose weight because she a cow that needs to kill herself." I start to burst into silent tears and I continue to see hate and the crying continues to the point I can't even see or hear because it's consuming me. I feel the bed sink and someone coming behind me and hugging me I turn and hug Nash and cry. I know I know why am I hugging him crying I don't know either. "it's ok Malina none of that is true." he says. "y-yes it is." I say crying. "it's all true and I should just kill myself." I say. "no you shouldn't Malina they are just jealous." He says. Soon I fall asleep crying surprisingly on Nash's arms.

Hope you guys liked chapter 16
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