Distance

Chapter 1

             A tall, dark shadow in the street light watched me as I sat on a park bench waiting for the late night bus to take me home from my long shift at the small coffee shop on the corner of Wedelle and Coach.

            I tried not to stare at her while she sat there, waiting and looking curiously into the night, wondering what secrets it held. I shouldn’t be this close but I can’t help myself... The distance is too much for me anymore. She can see me; I know she’s watching my every move now. It was easier in the beggining, I didn’t know who she was, or what she was all about; and honestly I didn’t care. She was just another assignment. At first she bored me, she wasn’t exciting nor was she an “eye catcher“. Don’t get me wrong she is beautiful but she holds a different kind of beauty. She didn’t wear clothes that would make a guy double take, she respected herself; Modest and self confident, but not in a cocky way, she knows who she is, where she is going and she doesn’t care if anyone in the world knows or cares.

            I see his shadow all the time. At first it was easy to ignore. I would tell myself he wasn’t there, or I just thought it was just a coincidence. But now, I can’t lie to myself, he is there and when I say he’s there, I mean he is always there. Where ever I go, watching. But tonight is different, he never gets this close. I can make out all of his features now. He’s taller than I realized, square jaw, short black as night hair, broad shoulders, I can’t quite see the color of his eyes but something tells me they are a soft shade of brown and green. Should I be concerned? Should I run away? Or run towards him? Something inside of me tells me he is not here to hurt me. If that was his motive for following me everywhere he would have already made his move. Right?

             Should I leave. She is so beautiful. I see her looking at me. I hear all of her thoughts. She knows I’m here. Should I tell her why? Should I approach her? There are so many things running through my head I can’t keep her thoughts and my own straight. I need to leave. The bus will be here soon, and she will be home soon enough and like every night for the past year once she falls asleep I will climb through her window, watch her sleep, and listen to her dream. I cannot ruin this. I cannot get attached. I cannot tell her my secret.

            Why does it hurt to see him walk away every time? I don’t know who he is. Or why he follows me. But what I do know is I want to know. I do not know why I’m about to do this but I’m going to follow him. Walking away from the approaching bus my heart skips beats... There wouldn’t be another one for at least an hour. Am I crazy? Yes. Where is he going? I can barely keep up. Turn after turn. Does he know I’m following him? Is he trying to lose me?

            Should I stop? Or should I keep going? Not tonight. Not now. She should be easy to lose. I will lead her close to her house so I know she gets there safe. Then I will hide and listen until it’s safe to sneak in.

            Where did he go? He was just right there. Why am I always so curious? My mom always told me that my curiosity would get the best of me, if she was right tonight would be that night. No trace of him left that I can find. At least I‘m n to far from home now. Lilly is going to kill me when I tell her what I did tonight.

            Finally asleep. Tonight took longer than usual. I couldn’t help myself so I ventured into her thoughts and her dreams. To my surprise I saw myself. She was dreaming of me? This pleased me but I almost felt like I was intruding. Never before have I felt like this. I know her dreams are not for me and these are even more personal and yet I cannot seem too look away or stop myself. I do not want her dreams to just be a figment of her imagination; I want them to be our reality. Each kiss, every touch, all of the words that pass through each of our lips, and every last breath that escape our bodies. It’s like your favorite movie on re-peat no matter how much you play it; it still seems to get better every time. Catching things, small details you had missed the first time or so watching. It’s so bitter sweet you don’t want it to end, but the ending always proves that it is worth watching again. All thoughts ruined by a sudden jerk in her sleep. When she moves like that my heart always stops. If I get caught in her room everything I worked for would be obsolete.