Divine Purpose

Chapter 21

It has been three days since I had last seen Cal and I dare say that it made me uneasy. It wasn't that I missed him but what was he exactly up to. Was almost dying another warning? Was he going to sneak up on me and torture me to death again? I was just waiting, biting my nail in anticipation. But I was ready for him. I wasn't going to fool myself and pity him with the sob tale of his unfortunate existence. He had condemned himself. Yes he was misunderstood but I was done giving him the benefit of the doubt. I was afraid if I fall for it again that I wouldn't live another day.

I watched the sun set and thanked God I wasn't killed. The sky went from pink to purple to a dark blue. I'd sit for hours just staring up at the magnificence of it all. It was art at its true form. Those colors could never truly be replicated. The sudden quietness in my life scared me. I wasn't used to no one trying to hurt me, but I knew it couldn't last. I mean come on, it was my life we were talking about. 

I swept through lanes on the abandoned streets in the backside of town. I was racing to my favorite spot where I always watched the sun set. I had to do a little off roading but I didn't mind. I liked pushing my motorcycle to new limits. The obstacle of trees was easy enough to avoid since this wasn't my first time dodging them. 

Once out of the forest the clearing to the cliffs filled my view. A random burst of joy warmed my body. It was pathetic to think this was the only thing that brought joy in my life at the moment. It was sad. I was young and should be living my life like it was my last day. Lately all I could do was praise God's playground. Yeah my life was chaotic but I could be dead right now. I wasn't ready to leave this earth yet. I wasn't done fulfilling my purpose.

I placed my helmet on my bike and sat on the edge of the cliff. My legs dangling over the fall were blown slightly by the wind. I wasn't afraid of heights. I was kind of coming to the conclusion that I would die when God wanted me to die. I never had a say in my life anyway. 

The snap of a twig made me swipe my head around. His piercing baby blue eyes were glowing in the dark but the bags under his eyes were a strange conundrum. The way he was looking at me was as if his soul was crying out to me, pleading for me not to run.

Cal took another step towards me and I jumped up to my feet as quickly as I could. My fist clenched to my sides and I assessed his every move. There was no way I was letting him get choose enough to hurt me again.

"Laken let me explain," he raised his hands in surrender. 

The buildup of pressure made it harder for me to breathe. "You killed me." 

The windows to his soul were open as he tried making sense of it all. "No. You are still alive."

"I probably have your brother to thank for that." 

Cal lowered his head. "I'm sorry. I-"

"You're sorry. You've threatened my life over and over again but I thought things changed. But you actually killed me." I wanted to deny that fact.

"I didn't see it...not until..." He paused to take another step towards me. 

I staggered back. I needed space. He frowned and my stomach twisted. He seriously looked wounded by my withdraw. I don't get it. I couldn't read him. What did he want?

"When you were close to death, I saw it. There was this kindness I did not deserve. I saw...I saw," it was like it was killing him to tell me. "I saw genuine love...for me."

I swallowed hard. To deny the love I stupidly had for him I'd be lying to myself. I don't know why but I did. I loved Cal. I didn't just pity him. I loved every part of his broken soul because deep down I understood him. His pain was my pain. And I knew with all my heart he wasn't all bad. There was still a little bit of angel in him.