Fix Me

Finally Excepting

        The world is so cold and damp now days. Everyone seems so emotionless and out of touch with reality. I know I am. Ever since my mom and dad passed I can't find happiness in anything. I used to sing and boy did I love it but so did my parents so I haven't done that in a while. Six months to be exact. I usually just sit in my room and dream about them coming home, I always find myself hoping that it were me instead of them! I pray to God everyday, asking him to turn back time asking him to turn the tables and make me go out instead of them. It never works, obviously. But I wish it would. That's all I can do is wish. 

        "Yesterday I found myself driving to the park on old 74. Remember the first time you took me there? I think I was about three and Dad had dropped me when he was trying to put me into the swing... I never got tired of that simple story. I miss you guys more than life its self. I went to visit Jocelyn this morning the doctors tell me she isn't getting better. I don't want to lose her as well, so I'm trying to stay strong and think only positive thoughts but it's hard when I don't have you two... anyway, she says hello and that she loves you. She still doesn't understand that you guys aren't coming home... Heck, I find myself doing the same thing. Anyway I'll be back next Friday. Oh, I got 'One Direction' tickets for this coming Saturday, which is tomorrow. I am also saving up for '5sos' tickets. But with these bills I don't know if that will be possible. I'm seriously so excited for 1D though and Alex got me T. Sift tickets so that's exciting as well! Welp, I love and miss you guys!" I find myself coming here often, as well, I try to come more than just every Friday but that isn't possible with my college courses and three jobs to pay for those courses plus my other means of living, like rent and water and food. You get it. 

        *BUZZ* BUZZ* *BUZZ* My phone is so loud. 

        "Hello?" I am driving so I have the Bluetooth on.

        "Hey babe! How was your visit?" It was Alex. She was my best friend. She has long black hair with the prettiest blue eyes you'd ever see. 

        "It was okay, it is definitely still hard to talk to them without hearing their voices! But I don't want to talk about that! Tell me about the tour..." Oh, did I mention she was an international superstar? okay maybe not international but close enough. She has been opening up for Taylor Swift for the past six months, I was suppose to go as well but my parents died... She wasn't here when the whole accident happened, but she flew in about two months ago for a weekend to check up on me.

        "It is seriously so fun! Taylor is hilarious and I got to meet Ed Sheeran. Yada Yada, more stuff that isn't fun. Like the recording studio, such a drag! Also, getting a wardrobe together was a hassel and I didn't even get to choose my outfits but I can't complain because I am in the midst of living out both of our childhood dreams. I really wish you were--" she stopped for a solid thrity seconds but it felt like five minutes.

"Actually, why don't you just drop your college courses and pay off what you still owe, pack your things, and come live with me in Australia. Then we can both live our dream..." She had a solid point but I have Jocelyn to worry about. Plus, I owe about $5,000 bucks. Which I tell her of course, yet good ol' Alex never takes 'NO' for an answer, so she obviously talked me in to it. "Tinleigh Santado, don't be oblivious. YOu know for a fact you can transfer Jocelyn to a hospital out here and you also know that I will, more than happily, pay your little bit of college debt off because I know you'd be able to pay me back in no time. I'll let you go, but don't think you're off the hook. I will be calling you next Monday to set the plans out, actually more than likely, Skype. Goodbye, lovely, I love you, chica!" 

        Well that was that.I guess I am moving to Australia That also means I should probably put my two week notice in at all my jobs and also to my landlord.