I Wasn't Looking For You [HOPEV]

Tulips are Colorful

~"How are you doing, my little bear?" A sweet voice called out and Taehyung smiled widely, knowing already who it was. The small boy turned his body and faced the sliding door where his mother was standing at, looking at him. She walked out and made his way towards him, bending down a bit with her hands gently pressed against her knees.

"Good, mama! I'm almost done!" he squeaked happily, forehead stained with dirt and sweat. He picked his hands up in the too big gardening gloves he was wearing. His mother had insisted for him to wait until she bought ones that were his size, but he flatly refused. "All the sunny flowers are done, and the lilies and mom! The roses smell really pretty!" Taehyung had shown a big interest in helping his mom with a small square of garden they had in their backyard.

"Sunflowers, my dear." She corrected the five year old and ruffled his hair lovingly. "I see, they all look beautiful. They seem happy that you helped planting them." She sat down next to him contemplating a pair of tulips beside his son while he sighed happily, proud of making his mom happy too. "You see those right there, angel?" She asked looking at him this time. "I like those, they remind me of you."

"Really?" he tilted his head, shy smile facing his mother. "But nana's flower book...  says that tulips are delicate... and daddy says I'm weak" his smile was soon replaced with a little pout. He thought his mom was also calling him weak.

His mother shook her head gently and caressed his chubby cheek with her thumb. "Being delicate isn't wrong Taetae. It means you really care about things. Also, did nana finish reading about the tulips? They are so full of life...so colorful. They can brighten up anything..." She said softly. "You can do that too. You have the potential to make anyone smile and you have to know that." The boy only looked at her warmly and nodded at such sweet words. "Taehyung...My Taehyung... Don't ever let anyone tell you the contrary. Don't ever change. Promise me that."

The brown haired boy immediately nodded, knowing a promise was important, even at his short age. "I pinky promise you mommy!" He said smiling again and showing his pinky at her to seal the promise. The loving woman smiled and joined her pinky with his. ~

Taehyung opened his eyes and stared at the tiles in front of him, water dripping from the shower down his body. Who knows how much time he had spent in there already, he never noticed when he spaced out that way. He groaned and passed his hands through his face, tears had gotten mixed with the constant fall of water, but that was okay. He turned the faucet to cut the water and stepped out, picking up a towel to wrap around his body. "What were you gonna do Kim?" he asked himself while walking  towards his bedroom and dried his hair with a smaller towel. A quick glance to his bed was enough to freshen his memory.

He had planned on going to a new club a few blocks away. The courage that usually came with alcohol was required this night, a last decision would hopefully come with that as well. And it was all because he couldn't keep his life the way it was currently anymore. He felt trapped and with no big motivations, only heavy chains that pulled him down a little bit more than what he would've liked.

Problems had always been in his life, having the main source at home. The person that should have given him love, was the source of everything, yet he always took the blame. His brother Jungkook was always there for him though, at least when Tae allowed him to, and that was because he didn't want him to get in any problems either. Life was difficult enough having an aggressive father and as the oldest, Taehyung told himself he could and would take all of it for the two of them.

A black button up shirt with golden details and black jeans were laying on his bed, to which he dressed up with as soon as his body dried up. His hair made itself  into thick curls that hung nicely over his head, so he wouldn't have to do too much with them since he liked them that way. He slowly slid decorative rings on his thin fingers, one by one, choosing neatly where each ring would be displayed on. After putting his shoes on, he picked up his favorite perfume and sprayed it on the specific parts of his body perfume was meant to be sprayed at.

He was beautiful, according to his father; too beautiful. He took his things and shoved them inside his pockets, soon making his way towards the place that would probably help him feel alive one last time.

His entire life had been controlled by the male supposed to support him, all he ever wanted was to be and stay true to himself like he had promised his mother. But all the guy had done was try to suppress him. He would constantly take him to bootcamps, karate lessons, boxing and many other places to show him how a "real man" should be. He knew the police station by memory since it was his father's workplace as as a police officer.

It's true that Hank would take both Jungkook and Taehyung, but when he noticed that the latter didn't enjoy any of those things he just began being stubborn and forced them more on him. All the young boy at that time wanted; was to dance, paint, draw and even plant flowers at their garden. Every single time the answer was "no". In fact, with that is when he'd get nudged or slapped as one of the best scenarios.

Getting beaten up and denigrated began when he turned thirteen- when his dad started noticing his son could possibly like boys and not girls. And it was all because he knew what all that would cause, his co-workers would make fun of him, laugh in his face because instead of having two boys at home, he "had" a boy and a girl. Because he thought that liking males meant his son would start wearing dresses, makeup, letting his hair grow long and that was unacceptable. Mr. Kim would be the laughing stock of the police station if his son was one of the few guys who could get pregnant. All the pride that he had radiated at work with his two children would have been destroyed by his son's selfishness. And currently at twenty one years of age, Taehyung was still hurt, mental and physically, and he needed something to relieve the pain one last time before he continued with his plan and end with it all.

---

Again, he had spaced out while sitting on a stool in front of the bar, the music was loud and he couldn't really pay attention to anyone in specific. He was going for his third or fourth drink, he lost the count at the same time he started looking around. People were dancing too close to each other and others were making out wherever they were, drunk both in alcohol and the person they were kissing.

He was always too caught on himself, always thinking he was the only one suffering, not opening himself to acknowledge that tons of other people had problems too. The sweet Taehyung was there, he was just hidden where no one could hurt him, and that was hurting him even more than it should have...

A couple of stools to his right, a guy was sat and dressed with what looked like an elegant suit , not that Tae even cared or noticed... until that same guy started starring at Taehyung. His mind was hazy and he was drunk, but was also one hundred percent sure that someone had their eyes on him and it creeped up from the tip of his toes to the top of his head. It was the type of sensation that caused a body to shudder and look for the source where it came from.

When he finally decided to turn, he found himself looking finally at the male to his right. Sleeves folded up, tie loose on his neck and suit jacket on his side, he made a guess and he had probably decided to get a break of some stressful job he had and he didn't judge him- an office job wasn't on the top of his list of dream jobs; although being a waiter, which he was, wasn't either. The guy wasn't ugly and... why was he trying to make a background story for this guy? He sighed to himself and gave a large sip to his drink, he got all pretty for this, didn't he? He wanted to have his fun for the last time...he couldn't loose anything if he had nothing to loose from the start.

Hello, I want to ask people's opinions?! This is the first time I'm publishing a story. I mean, I've wrote some before but stopped them for many reasons. Yet, I want to do this one for real. Vhope is one of my favorite ships and I actually plotted this story with one of my friends. Just some notes...

-Yes, that guy is Hoseok! He'll officially be introduced in the next chapter!! ^^

- The ~ and italicized letters are flashbacks as you might've noticed.

I can't think of anything else I have to make clear but If I remember I'll be mentioning It later. Thank you for being here. Comment any question you have and if it is possible vote for the story so I can get even more encouraged.

-Ari~