a spencer reid and mgg oneshot book

Skinny - MGG

A quick author's note:

Hi, I'm adding a trigger warning for this chapter, so if you're likely to be triggered from anything to do with eating disorders, please skip this one. Also: this one is a little personal for me. Even though I've never struggled with an ED, I've had a hard time dealing with my weight for a long time, so please be nice, both in the comments and to yourselves. I love you ALL and thank you so much for reading 🥰🥰

And an apology for making the first oneshot in this book about such a heavy topic lol. What can I say, it just comes easily to me.

💚 Erin :)

•••••••••

"So, let me get this straight," you say, trying not to let your anger get the best of you, "you're writing my character as anorexic because I'm skinny?"

The producers in front of you cringe for a moment before answering. "We thought it would give your character some needed depth and background. You're still relatively new on the show, and the audience still needs to empathize with you, especially before we introduce the romance subplot with Reid. And, since you can't shoot upcoming episodes because of your sister's wedding, we thought that it would be a good way to write you off the show for a while."

It makes sense, but did it really have to be an eating disorder? It's not that you struggle with maintaining your weight, but it's always been your biggest insecurity. They could have written anything that would make sense for your character to be gone for a couple episodes, but they had to choose the thing that you hate most about yourself.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves. They've already decided to do it, so it's not like you can really change their minds. "Yeah, okay, that makes a lot of sense. It'll be a struggle but I can get through it."

•

In your trailer, much much later, you were struggling to breathe. You had started filming the episode that started the eating disorder plot-line, and you got too connected to it. Filming your character opening up almost felt like a confession, even though you'd never struggled with anorexia. The director for the episode called for an hour lunch break, and you headed straight for your trailer. You'd been there for less than ten minutes before you heard a knock on the door.

"Hey, Y/N? It's Matt. Can I come in?"

Shit, you'd been too obvious. Rushed out too quickly. They sent someone to check on you.

You get up and open the door, and in a millisecond you're wrapped in a hug, Matt's arms warm and strong. You certainly weren't expecting that. You hug back hesitantly.

"I appreciate the hug, but what's this about?"

He pulls back, just a little, looks at you, and asks "can I come inside?" You nod and step out of the doorway so he could walk past you. He collapses on your couch, just as he's done a million times before. You sit next to him.

"Y/N, are you okay?"

You straighten your spine and put on your best fake smile, to reassure him. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

He clenches his jaw. "It didn't seem like you were acting, out there. And then you just ran off when lunch got called and that's so unlike you and I just got scared." Matt rambles a bit and  forces himself to stop.

You lean back into the couch and grab his hand, cursing yourself for the shakiness in them. He just gripped it tighter.

"It's just," you begin, taking a breath, "I've always hated my weight. I've been skinny since I was a kid and I don't really know why. I think it's my metabolism, but anyway. Growing up, I got made fun of a lot. I was always called anorexic as a joke and some people thought I actually was. And I've just always felt less valid, ya know? Like, my struggles in no way compare to the shit plus size women go through, and I get that, but it still hurts. I guess having an episode that focuses on my body and weight is just overwhelming for me."