A Selfless Sacrifice - A Niam Horayne Story *ON HOLD*

Chapter 3

A/N: Hey guys ! :) Sorry for the late update again! But anyway, this chapter is dedicated to the amazing niallerlover666. Thankyou for helping and inspiring me. I hope you all enjoy this chapter.

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A Selfless Sacrifice

Chapter 3:

Niall's Diary Entry 3:

AND THE DATE TODAY IS THE 12TH OF SEPTEMBER 2012! See, I remembered that! But anyway, tomorrow's my birthday! YAAAAYYY! I'm turning 18 and I'm getting closer to the end of 11th grade. I've made the decision to stop talking about my past now cause life is more about moving forward and moving on especially from the worst experiences you've had to face. So instead, I'll be keeping you - my wonderful diary - updated on what happens throughout my day.

It was another day, the typical routine. Liam greeted me in the morning with the usual, a sweet "good morning" that would make a girls heart melt and along with that salutation a gruelling punch right in the stomach. It was painful but I was determined to stay strong. On the other hand, inside I felt as if I wanted to collapse and die. I felt that somebody had beaten me in the stomach with a baseball bat. His hand was as hard as his malicious remarks. He then continued to abuse me but as always, like I have to, I put up with it. I mean it's my birthday tomorrow for crying out loud, he could have at least cut me some slack, but nope.

After that friendly morning greeting, I was left to go to class. A double maths class; it was draining not only physically but mentally. I pretty much slept throughout the whole double period. Then came recess. I never really bother trying to eat at recess because most of the time my food just gets thrown on the ground stomped on, that then proceeds to happen to my limbs and other parts of my body. But when I do get the chance to eat before those assholes comes along, it ends up coming back up again. Liam never really is the ringleader at recess. He's too busy tormenting other dweebs like me. After my next session of tantalizing I was forced to put up with a class with my least favourite teacher. He has something wrong with me. He looks at me as if I have killed his children, I honestly don't know what's wrong with him. The worst came at lunch today though.

I was at my locker. Liam proceeded to walk up the halls with all the girls practically drooling over him and all the rest backing off against the lockers out of his way. Although I have to admit he did look amazing. His hair was styled up this time into a short quiff. He looked like a model. I couldn't help but gawk aimlessly at the beautiful figure that walked up to me. Then I got the weirdest feeling. I wanted him to walk up to me and just kiss me. Twist his amazing lips onto mine. I thought in that moment that that happening would be the only thing that could make my life better. So there I was, standing there, mesmerised and practically checking him out.

I was supposed to be retrieving my lunch from my locker. So with half of my am still inside the locker in mid-air with my lunchbox in my hands, he walks up, slamming the door onto my arm sending me back to reality from my so called "daydreaming". I couldn't keep it in, I cried out in pain as the colour of my pale skin quickly covered in different shades of red. A tear began to slowly trickle down my cheek. It wasn't because he hurt me, I swear it wasn't. It was just the realisation of my feelings towards him and having to process the fact that he completely loathes me. Before I knew it, I was practically crying. He grabbed my lunch box that was still in my hands. "Captain America? Really fag?" he snorts as he flings open the lid of the box emptying its contents onto the floor. It wasn't much though, at home, we're running out of money which means we're short on many things so I decided to only take little to school knowing that barely, if not none of it would actually be eaten.

So with that, he stalked of still chuckling from what just happened. I slid down against the lockers clutching my lunch box to my chest. My dad got this for me when I was little; it is the only thing I have left of him, everything else is gone. It may be childish and it may be old and wrecked but it meant so much to me. And there he goes throwing destroying it like it's nothing. Everything else of my dad's is burnt, all the photos, presents, clothes .... everything.

Anyway, back to the event that occurred today. The usual happened, at lunch I got beat and left there in the middle of the yard. No one stood up for me, no one even helped me. But it's fine with me now, I understand that no one wanted to get beat up along with me. After lunch was over, I limped into class earning a glare from Liam's best friend who I unfortunately sit next to telling me to keep my mouth shut "or else you know what's going to happen don't you, you little innocent boy." But after only 5 minutes in class, I got sent into sick bay making up an excuse and telling the nurse that I tripped over the ball during soccer and face planted the floor, the usual.

Afterschool, I went through the typical routine of being shouted and teased. "Gay boy, fag, white twig, brace face, loser, loner" and the list goes on. I continue to get shoved and shouldered. But I don't get hurt as much after school, physically that is, not mentally. Teachers are out at that time so they don't hurt me as much. But in saying so, I'd prefer to be hurt physically than mentally. The time I dread the most during a weekday is afterschool. I may have to hear the name calling every day and from everyone but it doesn't make a difference, it hurts as much as the first time, if not, more.

"Gay boy, fag, white twig, brace face, loser, loner" they are the cause of the cuts on my wrist ... the reason why I feel like giving up, giving up on everything, everyone and myself

Niall Horan