Why have I been in such pain
Stressing over things in my brain
Feelings started to hit me like a train
Tears started falling just like the rain
The guilt had me tripping
My thoughts had me listening
Mother Nature got me dripping
While my mama got me wishing
I want to be a better child
I'm even going the extra mile
Like I'm going under trial
I always came out with a smile
I'm feeling like a dinner
Can't get it together guess I'm a quitter
I wish I was a lil thinner
Always at home feeling like a prisoner
I hate that I was feeling like trash
I was in the dirt lower than the grass
Couldn't let go I was still in the past
I missed my family grow I was moving too fast
My personality was split
Slowing dying sinking like a ship
I started losing my grip
Felt like a slave being hit with a whip
I was always so confused
Never around so I didn't know it was true
I was feeling like a fool
Never beneficial nothing else to prove
I'm usually not this blue
Never lived life cause I missed out on my youth
Paying for the lies with the truth
Nobody knew the pain unless I let them see it from my view
The pain was in my eyes
Couldn't take it no more I was ready to die
See the tears that I cry
Never had support or a hand on my thigh
Even when I didn't struggle
I made it alive and stayed humble
When life was like a jungle
I was strong even though I stumbled
When life got harder
I made it out alive when I divided and conquered
When times got darker
My mind started to wonder giving light to my demons and monsters
I never wanted to speak
My thoughts were way too deep
I was afraid to sleep
My mind was getting weak
I kept walking away
The paths I took led me astray
Never got excited not even for my birthday
The emotions on my face was all I could display
Did anyone ever know
How much I have grown
The feelings that I show
Were compared to a rose
Beautiful by sight
By touch hurts like a bite
Dangerous like the book Wicked Appetite
Always closed up by the end of the night
I was always in tears
Somebody always in my ear
Each and every year
Hoping my faith would appear
Every year I test my luck
Looking stupid like a duck
My feelings got crushed
Like being hit by a truck
The pain starts to spread
Killing me slowly but I'm not dead
My hair starts to shed
I wish these feelings would end
No one knew she was crying
Everyday she thought about dying
Being criticized and was still trying
Sick and tired of the lying
I got what I deserved
People getting on my nerves
Only making me feel worse
Feeling like I've been cursed
Stressing with so much on my heart
It was driving me crazy and tearing me apart
I was cool and funny but I lost my spark
Couldn't find the light cause I was trapped in the dark
Couldn't stand on my feet
Started feeling dizzy so I had to take a seat
My heart skipped a beat
It made my chest hurt when it kicked up the heat
I used to be sweet like honey
Now I'm soft like a bunny
Now my days are rainy instead of sunny
I thought I had nothing but misfortune but it was lovely
My parents thought I always had to plot
To get what I want and land on top
Then something changed when I started to pop
Everybody changed and that's when it stopped
I would always isolate when I got sad
Overdosing and cutting when I got mad
Tired of getting yelled at for the things I packed
When I constantly tried to get on track
