•c h a p t e r t h i r t y - t h r e e•

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"And you say, As long as I'm hereNo one can hurt you

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"And you say,
As long as I'm here
No one can hurt you."
Billie Eilish


R Y D E R


"As of last night, the body of a twenty-two-year-old man named Joey Bargon was found dead in an alleyway at one o'clock in the morning. The investigation on who did it, and what happened is still going on, all we know is that the attacker looks to be six feet tall, wearing a blue hoodie, with dark jeans. The police asked us directly to inform you to look out for anyone suspicious, or anyone wearing the clothes I just described and to call 911 immediately if sighted—"

I turned off the tv and rub my face, stress, and fear radiated off my body. I killed Joey, I killed someone. I took the life of a young boy, a boy who was only six years older than me, a boy who had a family.

A shaken breath left my mouth as I covered my face shamefully. I could feel the eyes of April upon me, and I was terrified to see what they held. Disgust, shock, fear.

Despite my anxiety of seeing what is held in her eyes, I found myself bringing my head from hands and make direct eye contact with April.

Her eyes didn't hold anything but fear, not fear of me, but fear for me.

"What're you going to do?" She spoke up first, and I felt my body go numb. What will I do? Should I make a run for it? Should I turn myself in? Should I hide behind my father like a coward? Or should I just make life easier for everybody, and just pull the trigger?

In the end, I shrugged. "I don't know," I responded weakly. I truly didn't know what I was going to do, and that terrified me.

Silence surrounded us, and I felt like I was drowning in my overthinking.

"I killed a man, April. . ." I uttered, and I found her gaze once more. "I-I killed a man, a man that'll no longer have a future, b-because of me!"

I abruptly stood from my place into the couch, and April followed after quickly. "I-I murdered a man, April," I said, my voice quivering at the thought. "I'm a murderer."

April shook her head, "Not to me."

I felt the salty moisturizer flood my eyes, blurring my vision, but I held them back. "I'm a murderer, and there's no way I'm going to escape the grasps o the police. I'm going to go to jail, for life. . ."

"N-No you're not, I'm not going to let them." She said stubbornly and took a hold of my face in her palms.

I felt anger surge through my chest, anger that she wasn't understanding, that she wasn't grasping the fact that I killed a man.

"April, I just killed a man! Why are you helping me?! Why are you helping me, a murderer, hide from the police when I should be behind bars?"

April watched as my bottom lip quivered. No, my thoughts cried, don't cry. Not now, you have better things to do than cry like a baby. I blinked rapidly, the tears disappearing seconds later.

"Because you don't deserve to go to jail," she hit her lip, looking like she was pondering on what to say next. "A-And I care for you, Ryder." April suddenly wrapped her arms around my torso, and she rubbed my back just like she did last night. "Please believe that you aren't alone in this Ryder,"

I did though, my father didn't care enough to discharge me, I had no friends and no other family members. There was only April, and she didn't have the power to protect me. She only had the power to be there for me.

But, surprisingly, that's all I needed. I only needed her to be there for me, and so far, she's done exactly that, and I couldn't thank her more.


• • •


{edited}

Dang, this chapter was pretty angsty if I do say so myself.
Ya'll have no idea what I have in store for you :)))

"I'll be good, I'll be good
And I'll love the world like I should."
Jaymes Young

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