Saturday morning. 9:07 am ; Angela was about to be birthed. Among entering the world, she had no idea she was nothing near an ordinary girl. Or even a girl at all.
Her mother chose her name hoping she would give birth to an angel (not metophorically, her mother was indeed insane. She was hoping for a fetus with a bow and arrow to grow like a balloon being blown up inside her womb, and released from her vagina in cupid-stance). When the sight of Angela being a human was visible, birth-goop, blood, and all, Angela's mother, Candice, was beyond outrage.
A mental breakdown was an understatement for what Candice had experienced. She asked the nurse if she could hold her baby, as any mother who just gave birth to their first born child would. The nurse followed protocol and let Candice have a moment with her newborn baby. Candice, being the sneaky little bitch she is, waited for the nurse to leave her sight (which by the way, was the last time the beloved nurse had ever been with a pregnant woman during birth. Her relationship with Jesus was more serious than any relationship she would ever have with a man).
Candice glared at Angela like a sack of kiwi just fell out of her vagina. She was so disappointed.
You see, Candice is a single mother who lives in her lonesome condominium above the Acornium Avenue and Mulberry Street intersection, a very busy and loud intersection to live near. Her nights are of repeated irritating insomnia and the longing of a lover by her side. Candice was unsure from the start about the idea of using a sperm donor and inseminating herself. Aside her doubts and anxiety, she ruthlessly used a turkey baster to insert the sperm inside her. She didn't even carefully choose the donator. Candice did not care. She just wanted to feel like she had a purpose to fulfill during her time in this universe. Candice finally realized that her purpose could just be being a mother.
And so she basted herself up.
Candice's first thought after laying her eyes on her un-cupid like daughter was to simply just kill her. What's stopping me? She thought.
She's just going to take up money I could be spending on the new PINK line anyway ..
Candice's thoughts began to trail off right when she realized that her offspring had something very wrong with her, besides from not being born an angel. Angela's mother's eyes adjusted to the sight of Angela.
Angela was a sack of kiwi.
Like the kind you see at the grocery store, a few kiwis all in one sack. That was Angela.
At 9:07 am on a stormy Saturday morning, Candice pushed a sack of 8 ripe kiwis out of her uterus.
amazing
Candice was furious. She was determined to find out exactly why her daughter came out of her as a sack of kiwi, and if it was even genetically possible.
Candice pressed the lil beep beep "call the nurse" button next to her hospital bed.
The extremely religious Catholic nurse came into her hospital room, trying to stop herself from shaking.
She knew all along that I was giving birth to a sack of fucking kiwi. There is only one thing to do at this time of anger and lust. Summon Our Father SaTAn.
"YOU FUCKING BITCH SQUUAAKAKAK SQUAAAK EAT MY ASSHOLE BITCH FUKC U SQUAAA FUCK SQUUUAAA!!AAKAK LICK MY PUSSY CRUST SQUAKkK"
Candice almost forgot when she reached Level 10 anger she turned into a duck with hyperactivity. She's been so lonely her whole life she forgot that she ever even got angry. It was all coming back to her now.
she didn't need to summon satan, she was becoming him herself. in duck form
the nurse ran out squaking and crying
the squaking was contagious lol
Candice fully transformed into a duck and ate Angela, the kiwis she had given birth to as a human.
oh and the reason Angela was a sack of kiwi was because Candice didn't actually use sperm to inseminate herself. instead she used a live kiwi bird.
the end
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THE KIWI FIC; Part 2 of The Fruit Fic Series
Fanfictionthe 2nd part of The Fruit Fic series ;
