Love across the door.

1.

Rachel POV.

I'm sitting in my car, head against the steering wheel, thinking of all the things that happened just today. I'm exhausted, and so is my mind, all I want to do is eat something and crash myself in the coach, where I've been sleeping all this time, but my body seems unable to step out and get inside my house.

With a deep sigh I get myself out and grab my keys. 

Silently I enter my house, shakily taking out my shoes and all of my clothes, putting them in the box next to the entrance, continuing my journey to the bathroom, almost avoiding to breath. When I'm in there I found a fresh set of pajamas neatly folded in the floor. I sighed for the nth time of the day and turn on the shower. Slowly I start to bath but I can't help to shed some tears when I think about him, the little boy of 7 years that I wasn't able to save today, and God, he deserved to live, he had his whole life ahead, and all was taken within a single week;  and the face of his parents when I gave them the notice... The broken look of his father and the piercing shout of his mother, begging me to tell them it's a lie.

Without knowing, I start sobbing, sliding down the wall until I was seated, my tears mixing with the water of the shower; tears of sadness, tears of concern, tears of tiredness, tears of agony, but most of all, tears of impotence, impotence of watching the people walking on the streets like nothing is happening, like everything is alright, while there are people dying EVERY SINGLE SECOND, including good doctors, giving their lives for them, and they simply don't care.

After I composed myself and finished taking my shower,  I put my pajamas and get down the stairs again to the living room. There I found my dinner, so I take it inside and started eating while watching a photo of me and the most important person in my life.

"That's right, Rachel, do it for her, she's your strength." I thought while closing my eyes.

As if on cue, when I open my eyes, a little pretty head appears behind the living room wall, and a smile immediately plastered on my face.

"Hey, baby," I said. "How are you?"

"Why are you always the one to ask that first? It should be me!"

I laughed out loud because her "angry" face is so funny and so adorable. "Okay okay, sorry, Lu. So, do you have anything to ask?"

Her joking and bubbly face turned upside down, showing a frown of concern. "How are you?"

I sighed again and answered honestly, "I don't know. Today was very hard, physically and mentally. One of my colleagues went to the emergency room today, he's really sick, and we don't know if he'll make it; we only have more and more people as time pases by, and then one of my patients... died today, he was only a kid Lu, and I couldn't save him. I know that it's not my fault but I can't help to feel that I could have done more and maybe... maybe..." And I broke down again. I see her intentions of coming near me.

"Don't, please don't come in."

"But I want to be with you, be your shoulder to cry on, I want to be your support, Rach. I just want all of this to be over. I want my girlfriend back, I want our movie nights back, I want our daily cuddle sessions back. I want everything to be back to normal..." She started sobbing quietly.

"Lu..."

"No, I know that it's not your fault, that you're doing everything that it's in your hands, and I know that you can't do anything about it, but I just wish that you were not a doctor, you know? I know that it's your dream and that you love helping people but I want to be a little selfish just this time, can I?" She said with little tears still running down her face.