A letter to you .

Where to start

You .
       To be completely honest, i don't know how this is all going to turn out. I'm going to test it out though. Just to see. You were everything to me at one point. Which sucked when everything went down because I wasn't everything to you. That's alright though. I put you in front of myself and my friends. I knew you needed that reassurance. Needed to know you were the only one I was talking to. That i was only worried about you. That i was only sweating you. Loving you. Caring for you. On the phone with just you. Staying up with just you. Dealing with you and everything that came behind you. Helping you through your hurt. Your heartache. Your sleepless nights. It wasn't always one sided though. You'd help me through my pain. Through my heartache. Through my sleepless nights. To my thoughts of losing you. The only person who cared for me at that time. The only one who i felt wouldn't do me wrong. I loved you with everything in me. Which broke me when we went downhill. I shouldn't have thought you were just about me though. I knew she was still in your life. I just knew what you chose to show me. That you were about me. "Loved" me. "Cared" for me. "Everything isn't what it seems." I used to hear that all the time. You showed me the definition of it.
    
           Me and you weren't always like this though. We'd laugh together. Make jokes and giggle like we were youngins. You'd be the reason behind my smiles. The reason why I was so happy all the time. You were always my friend first than anything. I loved our bond for that reason. Yeah we'd argue and get heated with each other but i always ran to you. You were my pick me up when nobody was around. When me and you started to talk, it got to me. I finally noticed I couldn't just be your friend. I had to make you mine. I couldn't let you be with just anyone. There's a lot that goes into our story. You wouldn't even care if you'd know. I secretly always believed that you really do care deep down. You just don't like to show emotion when people have hurt you so much when you do. Sadly, I'm one of the people that hurt you. Mine was unintentional. I never wanted to hurt you more than you already were. You messed me up mentally and emotionally and I felt that pain physically. I held on til I couldn't. I never wanted to leave you. I never wanted to break that promise to you. I know I caused more pain than you were already feeling. The hurt I was trying to save you from. The hurt that i didn't want you to feel anymore. Even though me and you had some rocky moments I always wanted the best for you. Even if I wasn't.
     
           When you came back though, you weren't yourself. I knew that though. I still had hope. That your bubbly self was still there. That this girl didn't fully break you. Did Not make you lose yourself. She did though. What came back to me was a broken and lost person. Someone who needed some real love. Someone who wasn't going to hurt you. Use you for pleasure and leave. Act like they were in love with you but were playing you right in your face. You wanted someone who was gonna support you. Pick you up when you're slacking. Help ease the pain. Let you express yourself. I knew I could help you. I have always been optimistic and you know that. Everytime i looked at you, I just knew I could help you through all of this. Nobody understood why. Why let you pull me through this rollercoaster of emotions. Why didn't I let you hurt alone? Why didn't I pull away before I got too deep in with ? Guess what ? It was none of their business. Me and you were me and you and that was that. We understood each other. We made each other fit together.