Deep Inside

N/A: I'm really happy to be able to participate on this ficfest. I'm sorry because, as english is not my first language, I may have not wrote a fic up to the potential of this prompt.

Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity.

I want to thank my Beta for all the effort, I'm a mess writing in english...

Kim Jongdae was really unsure about how to really interact with other humans. He had been diagnosed with depression and anxiety when he was little after watching his mother die burned alive when he was 6. He was simply traumatized, and the bullying he received when he was getting therapy for that trauma, ended up in his anxious and depressive behavior. Also, his father was never home, and his brother was a few years older than him, so he couldn't do nothing to help him, just watch over him to prevent Jongdae to kill himself. As the kid Jongdae was, he didn't have any idea on how to deal with his feelings correctly, he didn't know how to help himself instead of ending hurt in the process.

His mother's accident was actually very well-known, so everyone in their city knew what happened. In the streets many people talked with pity about him, but nobody did anything to help him, some even thought that he was responsible of that accident, even though he did nothing.

He changed school three times, always for the same reason, bullying, but his father didn't really care, thinking Jongdae should "man up", he also was working from early to late on the day, so in the end, he didn't see Jongdae more than what was just necessary.

By the time he got into high school, Jongdae hadn't had even just one friend and he neither had hopes of having one. But at least the bullying stopped by then, and he was able to start having a normal life somehow. At least he stopped having anxiety attacks in class when mocked by his classmates.

Another change that also helped him was the fact that, after some time, he got two friends. Not that he understood why, he always thought he was underneath the others and that he didn't actually deserve to have any friends. He thought about himself as an outcast, he wasn't able to save his mother, he survived while she didn't, he was a disgrace for his family, he let his mother die, his brother didn't have a mother because of him, his father hated him because he didn't have his lovely wife with him. He really thought he deserved the hate he received through the years.

But he got two friends, and not just normal friends but best friends. Baekhyun was a really popular guy in high school, he talked with anyone and had a lot of friends, but Jongdae was one of his best friends. Jongdae doesn't know why is that, but he really started to like having a friend like Baekhyun and cared a lot about him, when Jongdae thought about how they became friends he couldn't find a reason. But the first day of class, before the teacher even arrived, Baekhyun sat beside Jongdae and with the biggest smile decided they were going to be best friends forever, and no matter what Jongdae tried to say -tried being the key word because he was really nervous to say nothing- Baekhyun became his best friend.

If someone asked Baekhyun why he decided to be his best friend he would just answer "Everyone sees his façade, but I actually know he's much more than that", and that was true.

Sehun was Jongdae's other best friend, he didn't just arrive as Baekhyun playfully and decided unilaterally to be his friend, Sehun was quieter than Baek, but still talked way more than Jongdae. Sehun and Jongdae got paired for the first group work of the semester, and they found out that they were quite similar and they got along really well, and as Jongdae was Baekhyun's best friend, and Baekhyun was friends with everyone, Baekhyun and Sehun also became best friends. And it became really extrange to see Jongdae without any of the other two, he was always accompanied by either Sehun or Baekhyun, or both of them when Baekhyun wasn't socializing with everyone.