Such Sweet Sorrow

Chapter One

It seemed strange to be that any singular moment could be so important. So life changing. But the smallest fraction of time could have the greatest impact, and it was a devastating lesson to learn.

-

"I'm sorry Bella," Edward said calmly. He seemed to be looking right through me as he spoke, like I wasn't even there. "When I said we, I meant my family and I. We're leaving Forks without you." The world seemed to stop around me, my breath caught in my throat. Even the wind rustling through the trees and the chirps of birds in them seemed to fall away from me now.

"Without me? But-" A harsh bark erupted out of Edward's throat, a cruel chuckle from the man I thought I knew- but this was not my Edward, it couldn't be.

"But what? You thought we'd take you with? Make you one of us? You don't belong in my world Bella."

"I thought I belonged with you." My voice was teetering on the edge, about to crack. It was the final defence against the panic and dread that was filling my body.

"I was mistaken. I'm sorry." I feel hot tears finally spill down my cheeks, my chest heaving to hold back ugly sobs. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of breaking down- not now.

"This changes things then." I said quietly. "If you don't... want me, then I have no right to ask you to stay- even if I am in love with you." My shoes seemed the most interesting thing to look at at that moment, if I looked at Edward's angelic face while he told me these terrible things, I'd never recover.

"Goodbye Bella Swan." Edward said, walking towards me. I looked up at him for a moment, watching him lean in for a final kiss, but I stepped back suddenly, not wanting his pitied affection. The way my name left his lips sounded strained, to me it sounded like it was repulsive to him, like my name- Bella- beautiful, tasted vile on his tongue. In one moment, Edward, who I thought was my fated soulmate- my one true love- was gone.

Parting was such sweet sorrow.

-

October

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November

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December

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The winter months had passed in a blur, and it seems I hadn't even noticed the seasons changing because before I knew it it was March.

"Bells I'm worried about you." Charlie said to me while I was loading my backpack in the car for school. I turned to him passively, and finally noticed his look of despair. I took a deep breath before nodding, not trusting my words at that moment in time. I had lost Edward, that was true, but my dad was losing his daughter too, and something had to give.

"I know dad." I mumbled, before turning and hugging him deeply. "I'm sorry I've worried you so much, it's just been so hard-" Charlie's arms stiffly enveloped me in a fatherly embrace. He was never the emotional or hands on father- even when my mom and him had still been together, but I never doubted that his love was unconditional, that I was still loved by somebody. Even if it wasn't him.

"I know sweetheart, but you have to move on, I can't watch you destroy yourself like this anymore." His words rang true in an uncomfortable way that I hadn't been confronted in before. It was so easy to blame Edward for my falling apart, but though Edward had caused my pain and heartbreak, I had wallowed in it. I had to pick myself up and put the pieces of my life back together.

"I'll try harder dad, I promise. Maybe I'll go see Jacob after school today?"

"That sounds great Bella. And when I get home from work we can order a pizza, we'll get Pepperoni." Charlie released me from my hug, and I hopped in my truck.