Maybe... Just Not Now

CHAPTER 1

"Death is a way of life and you cannot avoid strife..." -- Unknown

Gabrielle Bailey Johnson was the name. I hate my middle name though, and my first name is too common, so most people just call me BJ. It was senior year when it all changed. I was a genius, and was able to skip the 3rd, 7th, and 9th grades, so I was 16 then. About 4 feet 9 inches off the ground, smooth cappuccino colored skin, eyes the color of the sky, my hair was light brown with auburn tips at the time. I had deep dimples that sunk into my face whenever I did anything, full round cheeks, huge eyes and super long lashes. It seemed like my face almost resembled a Barbie doll. I had an hourglass figure and tried my best not to flaunt it at school. It was just weird for a little black girl to go to a prep school in Albuquerque, with sky blue eyes; and being really smart made it no better.

 I was really distant from my peers. My social circle consisted of about 4 people that I had grown up with. I didn't date, mainly because everybody was either out of my league or not close to comparing; but also because everyone in my grade was about 3 years older than me. In that time the sofa was a friend to me, familiar with my favorite foods, books, stuffed animals, pajamas, drinks, TV shows, and my pillow. I read as a past time and found comfort in long walks through the park. Strong minded and strong-willed, everyone in my family seemed to adore me. I was a spoiled brat and had more clothes and shoes than books in a library. My closet was a department store. Over the years, I had developed a really intricate sense of style. My life seemed perfect. I had everything I wanted; had money, and scholarship offers from all of the best schools. My family was seemingly intact and although I was quiet, they treated me like I sat on top of the world. People just always respected me, but they expected a lot from me. Life couldn't have gotten better in those days. But that was then, and now, my life couldn't get worse.

I remember it almost like it was yesterday; the day everything started to unfold. I had just gotten my room redecorated. The sun was shining and two bluebirds sat chirping on the window sill. The walls in the room were sky blue with a grey trim around the white floorboards. Color coded books lined the shelves perfectly. Magnificently colored pieces of art were pinned to the walls. Two dressers and a chest mirrored each other in the seating area. The closet was just as big as the room. I stood at the end of the bed while looking at myself in my full sized mirror. It Will Rain by Bruno Mars was playing while I took pictures of myself. Unaware of what was going on outside of my bedroom door, I wasn't paying attention to my family's conversation until they called me downstairs to become a part of it. "COMING!!" my usual response, although, I was in no particular rush.

"Hurry up!" came the voice of my cousin, Rose in the living room. Her voice squeaked when she yelled, but I tried my best to ignore it. She was dramatic and thought everything was important, so when she said hurry up, I assumed it was something simple going on.

"OKAAAAYYY!" I yelled back. After a while, I had finally decided that I should see what they wanted, so I proceed down the long, marble staircase and into the foyer area. The foyer was standard sized and had a huge crystal chandelier that hung right in the middle of the ceiling. All of downstairs had a black-and-white, color scheme. The furniture was all vintage and the floor changed every time you walked into a different room. We had marble in the foyer so that it blended with the stairs. I figured that the lighting was perfect for a round or two of selfies. After taking about 15 pictures, I finally walked in the hallway and through the kitchen to the living room where my family sat, waiting quietly for me to enter.  In the room sat my mom, Elizabeth, my dad, John, 4 of my cousins, Rose, Joe, Amber, and Chris, my aunt, Tasha, my uncle, Louie, and my grandmother, Jessabelle, but I called her Dear.  They seemed to have a look of sudden solemn on their faces. All of them had the same look, the same stiffness, the same posture, the same hidden sadness behind their eyes.