time and time again || tsukkiyama

one

SADNESS

it was raining again. the boy pulled open the thick curtains that hid the gray sky. his blank eyes followed the small droplets as they trailed down the window and onto brick.

lifting the window he breathed deeply as the wind pushed the blond hair from his face. rainy days were saddening but he enjoyed them, in fact he found them refreshing.

sadness is something you become used to after a while.

sadness: an emotional pain associated with, or characterized by, feelings of disadvantage, loss, despair, grief, helplessness, disappointment and sorrow.

sadness itself is a beautiful thing. the way your heart aches, the way your mind goes blank, the numbness of it all is just so satisfying he thought.

"kei! can you come down and help me with the groceries?" the boys grandma called up the stairs.

His parents had died a few months ago in a house fire. exactly 10 days after his sixteenth birthday.

after the incident he moved in with his grandmother on his mothers side. he was never close with his father nor his side of the family.

his father was a recovering alcoholic.

he would down bottles and bottles of alcohol and then pass out on the couch. one day something different happened. he got drunk and took it out on the boys mother and the boy himself.

"kei, i cant get all of these by myself i need you to come down and help!" his grandmother called again in a more frustrated tone.

closing the window and letting the curtains fall into place the boy went downstairs.

"hi sweetie, would you mind going out to the car and getting some bags for me? there aren't many left." the small lady smiled up at her grandson.

"uh, no ill get them for you, grandma. do you need help with anything else?" he asked offering a weak smile to the woman.

she thought for a moment. "no i don't think so, but i'm happy to see you smiling again. i missed that." she said smiling again.

walking out to the car he took another deep breath breathing in the earthy scent. he hadn't been outside in a while. usually he stays up in his close to empty room writing poems or reading a book.

he dreamt of becoming a famous poet even as a child. just publishing them online for the few readers he has at the moment is enough.

journals, upon journals, upon journals fills the single bookshelf in the corner of his room. the journals are full of poems, short stories, and some short notes to himself.

plucking a small worn notebook from the shelf and flipping through the pages he stops on a page. a full description of himself he wrote in his small, but neat handwriting a few years ago.

- blond hair
- yellow- brown eyes (???)
- tall (like really tall)
- skinny :(
- glasses
- pale
- age: 13

boring, plain, overall uninteresting.

but honestly,

there isn't much more to know about

KEI TSUKISHIMA