Closing the Books

C13

"You're right. It's because of you"

"A-are you serious?"

I gritted my teeth and looked at him, waiting for his answer

"You told me to tell you the truth--"

"At utang na loob ko pa yun sa'yo, Aiden!? Anong gusto mong maramdaman ko na you're willing to give up your dream just because of me!"

I stood up and paced back and forth. I wanted to shout at him. I want to slap him so that he will wake up and see that...he's making the wrong choice!

He also stood up and tried reaching for my hand but I won't let him do that. I slapped his hand away and looked at him with hard eyes.

"You're not the only reason that I'm staying" he said trying to calm me down but I just became more furious at him

"Then what else? A-am I supposed to believe that ?Because I can't see a damn good reason why you would do this"

I clenched my fist mid-air in so much frustration. I just can't accept that I would take his dream away from him because I would never ask him to do that.

No matter how much I like him and no matter how much I don't want him to go away to another country, I will always understand that dreams and goals come first.

I feel like I'm the one pulling him down. And here I thought he was distracting me but then I found out that I was the one doing that to him and I can't swallow that.

Kung gagawin niya 'to, hindi ko alam kung kakayanin ko bang matignan siya araw-araw knowing that I held him back.

"I also have other offers from well-known architects here and I think it doesn't make any difference. So you don't have to feel guilty because this is what I want"

He continued convincing me while trying to reach out but the more he's trying to do it. The more I feel guilty. I glared at him while he's looking at me with pleading eyes, asking me to calm down and listen to him.

I sighed heavily and looked at him with bloodshed eyes.

"It makes all the difference, Aiden. You want this, I know how much you want that apprenticeship, you won't apply for it and you wouldn't have accepted it if you think it's the same as your other offers"

I tried keeping my voice stern so that he'll understand how displeased I am right now. I knew that what I said was right because I saw it in his eyes the moment he heard it. It was like he was caught red-handed and he can never hide it from me no matter how hard he tries to do so.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked defeated, his eyes also bloodshed and I know how much this frustrates him too.

Good

So he knows how serious this is. How serious I am that I won't let him give up that great opportunity just because of me.

Why would he even do that? Hindi naman kami!

"Accept it" diretso kong sabi sa kanya. Kasi alam kong yun naman ang gagawin niya kung hindi ako dumating sa buhay niya eh. Bakit kailangan niyang baguhin yun dahil lang nandito ako?

His lips parted and he quickly shook his head like I'm asking something impossible "That's not gonna happen. I already rejected it, Leren. My decision is final"

I looked at him with disappointed eyes before picking up my sling bag "Then we have nothing to talk about" I said seriously and started walking towards the door

I didn't get to walk so much because he blocked my way "Don't leave like this, please" he pleaded but I don't want to listen to him anymore

"And why would I do that?"