Anxiety is hoping you don't get a call back for the job
Anxiety is breathing the same stale air over and over again
Anxiety is feeling your body tear itself apart from the inside out
Anxiety is not going
Anxiety is living at home in your old bedroom
Anxiety is
not knowing
Not Understanding
Anxiety is scratchy throats and stinging eyes
Working the same place as the rest of your family
Having the same job as generations before you
Filling in a silent row
Trying not to be seen
Looking away
Running
Anxiety is running but your body is paralyzed
Anxiety is looking for normal in an ever changing world
Anxiety is crying
Is screaming
Is itching
Is haunting
Anxiety is everything
It's the night you stayed home
It's the night you didn't and wished you did
It's the games you missed crying your eyes out
It's the dances you didn't go to because your chest was caving in
Folding like dough into your lungs
Becoming goo under your skin
It's avoiding eye contact trying to hide from the fire
It's looking for a comforting pair of eyes even though you're afraid
Wanting a hug to weigh you down as your body is trying to fly away from everything around you
Needing a hug to keep your dough lungs and liquid heart from running down the drain of despair
Anxiety is sleeping under five blankets
Four fabric and one a solid layer of cold sweat
Anxiety is short nails and scratch marks
Anxiety is stimming until you collapse
Anxiety is more than just a presentation in class
It's the class clown screaming in the last row of the room
The bully staring you down
The friend passing notes and rustling paper taking over your mind
The the chairs scraping on the floor
The tile being slippery
The door being loud
Anxiety is sensory overload
Loud door
Slippery floor
Scrapping chair
Rustling paper
Sharp voices
Rattling coins
Extra sounds
Sounds
sounds
Sounds
Smooth coins
Hot breath
Textured paper
Hard chair
Uneven floor
Swirling room
Nurses cot
Anxiety is worried friends who haven't heard from you in a while
Anxiety is constant second and fourth guessing yourself
Anxiety is hard
And above all
Anxiety is lonely
YOU ARE READING
From a senior in 2020
PoesíaNothing is as it was advertised to us. We are full of anxiety and uncertainty and this is what I have to say as a senior in 2020
