I'm Sorry (Not Really)

Chapter Ten

Save it.

No, not our life.

No, not our happiness.

Save our mask.

Save our lies.

~A. F.

           Taylor had just barely left the kitchen before my mom began yelling, "What were you thinking?!" I shrugged and she continued with her rant, "Do you realize you could have gotten expelled?! What would your father think?!" I held back a scoff, of course, that's what her mind would immediately go to.

          "I don't see why it matters," I grumbled, leaning against the counter.

          My mother blanched, "it matters because your father and I have a reputation we need to uphold!" I looked down at the tile, each one was different, the lines of the marble thin and intricate, if you looked too long you'd almost feel as if you're falling. The tiles are clean, impeccably so that if the police came to search the house for a murder scene they'd think it had happened here because the room seems so newly cleaned. I heard my mother huff slightly, then she sniffled.

          I glanced up at her and saw she had grabbed a tissue and was dabbing at her eyes. "You have no respect for this family," she cried, "you don't care about how your actions affect others!"

          I have two options, I could act regretful or I could continue to brush her off. Either way, they aren't going to risk their reputation by telling their friends but it could be helpful to have them on my side.. My mind quickly ran through all the possibilities.

          I let out a long breath, "I'm sorry mother. I do care, I didn't think of how my actions would hurt my family." My mother sniffed and looked at me.

          "Thank you, Tommy... I hope you've learned that your actions have consequences. You are to go to your room for the rest of the night, one of the maids will bring you food." I nodded solemnly and began to leave the room, "Oh, and one more thing. I love you."

          I didn't turn around, "I love you too."

          Lair, a voice in the back of my head jeered. I ignored it and continued on my way to my room. Taylor tried to stop me and ask what happened but I walked past her, not giving her a second thought before slamming my door shut.

          I checked the time and saw I had thirty minutes until the designated time to meet Sam. I wasn't worried about being 'grounded' since it wouldn't be hard to sneak out without anyone noticing. The maids are told to do whatever we ask, so if I leave a note telling her to leave the food and tell my mother I'm eating, she will. That's the hardest part only because I have to rely on someone else. My room is at the back of my house, which is more like a mansion, and though I'm a few floors up, there's a tree right next to my window which I could climb down from. The rest is pretty straightforward, the park is only a five minute or so walk from here.

          I left the note on my nightstand and was out of the house with fifteen minutes to spare. At this point, I figure I actually am hungry and I don't want to eat cold food so I might as well stop at the bakery for a few muffins or something since it's on the way. If I remember correctly, Samuel specifically told me that he loved blueberries because of how common they grew in his hometown. He told me stories of how wild blueberries dotted the hillsides in the summer, making them look as if someone had splattered blue and purple paint all over them.

          "I used to go out with my Mam and Da, always when the sun was at its peak because any other time of the day it would make you shiver from cold." I looked at him confused and he laughed, looking off into the distance, remembering, "Yes, even in the summer, it only gets 15 degrees or so..." Sam trailed off as he saw my horrified expression, "Oh uh, wait that's in Celsius."

          "Oh, you scared me for a second," I teased, nudging his shoulder with mine.

          He thought for a moment, "It'd be around 63 degrees Fahrenheit, I think.." I looked at him impressed, he did that in his head, "anyway, the berries were always good, even wild. My mam would make blueberry scones and I'd get in trouble because I ate too many and made myself sick." He smiled sadly, twisting his hands together.

          "You miss them, don't you? You're probably pretty homesick."

          He laughed bitterly at that and avoided the question, "breaks almost over."

          I reminisced over the memory before a waitress shook me out of my thoughts, "Sir, are you going to order?" The waitress was a girl, her hair was tied back and a nameplate on her chest read 'Patty'. She had her brow scrunched up and her hands tangled in her apron.

         "You shouldn't scrunch up your face like that, it'll cause you to get more wrinkles." She looked offended but I continued speaking before she could, "Two blueberry scones." She stalked off without another word. A different worker gave me my food and helped me pay, I must have made her upset then. Whatever.

          I once again checked the time as I left the bakery, five minutes. I sighed, what am I doing? I got his favorite flavor scones and I snuck out of the house to go talk to him when I don't even need him for my plan. This isn't logical, so why am I doing it?

          I stopped and looked up at the gate surrounding the park, I could still turn away. I could still leave and go home and block his number. I could still forget all about him. Some part of my brain told me it wouldn't be that easy, some small part whispered that I didn't need him but I wanted him. And that part, that's the part that I listened to. For the first time, I let emotion rule my fate.

          Walking through the gate, I couldn't decide if I felt a weight lift off my chest or a new weight fall over it. Almost immediately I saw Samuel sitting on a park bench, twilight had just fallen so it was hard to make out his figure, but I still knew it was him.