Hot showers to burn away my sins
Cold showers to wash away my indulgences
The same patterns day after day, year after year.
The same anxieties of how I'll never know what it's like to be normal
To be lost in infatuation with the boy who can never seem to leave your thoughts
To be engulfed in friendships and not be heading to hell
But no, I'm stuck with these sinking feelings and long laced scars,
all hidden behind layers, so they'll never know who I truly am.
I'm sorry I'm not who you want me to be
I'm not perfect, but who is?
them;
the girls who are as thin as my thighs
the ones with the 4.0 gpa
the ones who's sexuality is as straight as their shining smiles
the ones who don't mimic my awful stripes
or how about the one's who aren't as lost as I?
Bullshit.
I'm trying dear, am I not enough?
of course you're not, what would make you think that.
I'm trying
I'm sorry you didn't meet me in a few years
if you're even still here
I'm sorry I didn't care
I'm sorry I'm quiet, these voices are too loud
I'm sorry I couldn't spark your interest
I'm sorry I pretended your problems were normal. Truely you are my flower
I'm sorry you choose her, but I understand. She gave you what you needed
I'm sorry I'm not there for you, I really want to be
I'm sorry for everything.
I'm sorry I'm me
I'm just fucking sorry
