Again

1 - River of Memories

Metempsychosis 1.00 P

~Where the north wind meets the sea
There's a river full of memory [...]
Come, my darling, homeward bound
When all is lost, then all is found~

*Evan Rachel Wood - All is Found*

~~~~~

Where I came from, there were many stories and beliefs about what came after death. Some thought that there was a light at the end of a tunnel. Others believed that there was a heaven or a hell that welcomed us depending on our actions in life. Each religion had a myth, one that was meant to be a comfort to the dying and an assurance to the living. I was part of the sacrilegious few -- sacrilegious where I was from — who believed that there was nothing after death, that we simply ceased to exist.

And yet, here I am, carried along this golden river of light, watching images of my life race by me as I move towards a blinding sun that drew hundreds of rivers like mine into its incomprehensible size.

I couldn't remember how I died, and my memories were shattering into hopeless fragments with each passing second. Soon I couldn't even remember my own name, all that I knew was that I existed and that this sun was burning up everything that made me, me. In a desperate attempt to keep what remained intact, I tried to swim again the current of light, barely making any headway.

"You are dead, yet you struggle against the Rukh." The man's voice was unmistakable, the only sound in this soundless place. "You cannot change your fate, yet you try anyway. How peculiar."

Suddenly, I was plucked from the river as it slowed to a halt and suspended above it. The weightlessness was disorienting and it left me feeling nauseous, but only in thought? My body seemed to be completely fine.

"I see, you do not belong here." The man's voice seemed to be right behind me, and I tried to turn my head, glimpsing a flash of blue and gold before it was gone. "The Rukh have guided you here, and let you keep your soul, so that you may have a second chance."

Flashes of scenes. Women, children, and blood. So much blood. Muffled crying and screams. And Fire. Fire and Blood.

"Oh, child," The owner of the voice suddenly appeared before me, hand reaching out and cupping my cheek with an indescribable warmth as he wiped away the tears I did not know were even falling. His blue eyes, the exact same shade as his hair, gleamed with pity and understanding as he adjusted his grip on the golden stave in his hand. "Your soul yearns to serve and protect; it is a call unlike any I have heard before. It would have been an honor to have someone like you in my Household."

He pulled away and I found myself reaching towards him, already missing the warmth. If there was a God, this was he. He was beautiful and pure and everything the religious fanatics in my life has espoused; no wonder they had been so devoted.

"Live this life well, you will not get a third chance." Suddenly, I dropped into the river again and was dragged towards the sun. "My gift to you, my blessing, is that while your mind will not remember, your soul and body will. Good luck, child."

My mind went blank as my vision was flooded with the blinding light and I could remember no more except the warmth lingering on my cheek.

"What a beautiful girl..."

Those were the first words I heard as the white light that had consumed me faded, replaced with dozens of colors. The first I noticed was an dark gold, as precious as the rare metal but a thousand times brighter, that seemed to shine down on me from behind the glossy sheen of water. As the blurriness cleared, it was obvious that the color was the eyes of the woman who clutched me to her bosom, face full of such love and warmth that my chest ached and my cheeks flushed. When I went to say something, the only sound that came out seemed to be a soft cry-croak that I immediately muffled in mortification.