Drop Me Like A Bad Habit

Crazy Dreams.

Luhan felt his breath hitch in his throat. There was no way he could do this. Not after leaving. Not after saying goodbye. He sucked in a painful breath and pushed through the doors of the SM main office building. He pulled his hood over his head as he noticed several stares and then eyes being quickly averted as if they were witnessing an alien landing. With a final 'huff' under his breath, he entered into his former manager's office. The man sat in a rolling chair that just barely had it's back facing Luhan. As soon as Luhan entered, he felt the man staring at him; though, the chair never moved.
"So, the triumphant return." The man said slightly to himself. Something about the way he said it made Luhan's heart fall. He slumped into the nearest chair and fiddled with the zipper of his jacket. As if admitting defeat wasn't humiliating enough, he would have to re-debut, go through a hoard of rumours, and somehow manage to make it up to his fans. He didn't see his leaving as a bad thing. In fact, he made sure to stay around; appearing in movies and releasing a song. It never occurred to him that it wouldn't be enough. The man in front of him let out a long sigh, pulling Luhan from his thoughts.
"I think the best thing for you to do is to just talk to them. Maybe even stay at the dorm while things get settled? It could be like old times." His smile was forced as he talked to Luhan. Luhan knew that he didn't care about how comfortable he felt with the situation. It was about money, and SM's stock plummeted after Luhan's lawsuit against them. They needed him for appearance, and that's how they would treat him. He was SM's own damage control. Luhan just nodded and waited for the conversation to continue, but it didn't. The man had swivelled around in his chair and left Luhan to sit in his confusion. Without another word Luhan stood up and left the office, making sure to slam the door extra hard on his way out.

★彡

Luhan rounded the corner a third time. He wanted to stop the car and go into the dorm building, but his foot wouldn't let off of the gas pedal.
"Stop being crazy and just go in there." He said to himself. With a final round of the block, he parked his car and sauntered toward the tall white building. As he entered, he noticed a certain emptiness to the room, but he was certain someone would be here. Adjusting his bag on his shoulder, he advanced into the all too familiar dorm. Everything seemed the same. It was literally as if he had gone out for bubble tea and came back the same day. Nothing had changed. The familiarity only urged him to explore more of the dorm, as if he didn't already know every nook and cranny. He heard a slight rustle come from one of the closed doors.
"Kyungsoo?" He called out curiously. He was sure that he would be the one to stay behind if all of the members were out. Assuming the person couldn't hear him, Luhan continued about the house. There were a few dirty dishes piled sloppily into the sink and what seemed like spilled ramen on the table. The place was a mess. Luhan dropped his bag and began to mindlessly clean. It felt so natural to clean up in this space that Luhan's mind drifted off. He imagined himself standing in the kitchen. Kyungsoo probably cooking something with Jongin at his side. Tao would be laughing with Xiumin. Sehun would be in a chair displaying his notorious poker face with headphones lodged in his ears. Baekhyun would be causing some sort of mayhem with Chanyeol while Yixing and Suho advised against it. He was happy. Amongst all the chaos, he felt at home. His family was safe and happy. Everything was okay and he had never left. Luhan swallowed hard at that thought. He had left. The scene he was picturing in his head quickly diminished along with his smile. He would have to refrain from crazy daydreams, they would only make this harder. He finished up the last bit of cleaning and slumped on the couch. He was mentally and physically exhausted from the stress and flight to Seoul. His lids felt heavy, and before he knew it, his eyes were closed.

As noises started to fill the house, Luhan was brought back to consciousness. He opened his eyes to see a very worried looking Tao.
"Are you okay? You look sick, hyung." Tao hadn't changed a bit. Luhan smiled tiredly and adjusted his position on the couch.
"I'm okay Tao, just tired." He answered. Tao's warmness and worry comforted him. Maybe they wouldn't react badly.

★彡

The night went by smoothly. Everyone seemed to accept him willingly. They went out to a secluded restaurant and caught up on the past months. They were all smiles the entire ride home. Luhan let out an excited sigh as he entered the dorm. There was one person he was most excited about reconciling with. He pushed his way past the wall of boys and grabbed Xiumin's wrist, wasting no time as he pulled him into the nearest room.
"Luhan I-" Xiumin started, but he was cut off with Luhan's lips crushing against his. Luhan wrapped his arms around Xiumin, but he noticed him being rather still. Pulling away, he examined Xiumin's expression. The corners of his mouth were pulled down and his eyes were focused on the floor.
"Minseok, I'm back. For good this time. I know it's selfish of me to expect you to bounce back to how things used to be, but I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?" Luhan asked with pleading eyes. Xiumin cleared his throat to talk, but his eyes didn't leave the floor.
"Luhan, I-....This isn't working. I think we should stop this." He said, pulling his hand out of Luhan's. He took one final glance at Luhan's pained expression, and walked out of the door.