"Hi" I greeted him while sitting beside him on our favourite bench. I know I might step my pride pero wala na akong pakealam dun what I want is to apologise to him and maybe bring back what I ruined before.
"Hey, how are you?" He greeted me back with a smile
I can't take this anymore nag-uunahang lumabas ang mga luha ko sa aking mga mata
I miss his voice that sweet voice, I miss his eyes those stares, I miss his kisses and hugs fuck I miss him
" I'm okay ikaw kamusta ka? He smiled saka sya tumingin sa langit
It's almost 4:30 in the afternoon at unti unti ng lumulubog ang araw.
"What happened Thea? What happened to us?" His voice became broke and I saw tears are falling from his eyes pero hindi pa din ito tumitingin sa akin.
"Luke I'm sorry, I'm so sorry ayoko talagang mangyare yun, ayoko talagang iwan ka pero pinangunahan ako ng emosyon ko" and now my tears came out
Lumapit ako kay Luke at kinuha ang kamay nya at hinawakan ito ng mahigpit. At dahil dun tumingin ito sa mga mata ko. I can see the pain and sadness with those eyes now my gulitiness grow bigger
"Because of emotions? Ano bang emosyon yan Thea bat kailangan iwan ako?"
"Luke napagod ako"
"What? napagod? How?!" The heck Thea what did I do wrong? Ginawa ko ang lahat to keep our relationship stronger, I did my best to make you happy, I gave everything to you. I spend all the holidays with you, I support all your dreams, I chose to stay by your side kahit minsan hindi na kita maintindihan pero bakit mo pa rin ako iniwan?"
I can't even answer his question because this time sobrang dama ko na yung guilt at lungkot.
"Thea naisip mo ba ako? Naisip mo ba ang mga pinagdaanan natin? O sarili mo lang ang inisip mo? Thea It was christmas that time, people should be happy, people should be giving gifts, giving hugs, giving loves but you turn my christmas upside down."
"I'm sorry Luke, I'm really sorry" yun na lang ang tangi kong nasabi sa kanya
"It's been three months but I can still feel the pain, I can still remember how you leave me in the middle of christmas." He sight
" Remember those roses I gave you?" Tumango lang ako dahil maski bibig ko hindi na makisama sa akin dahil sa pag iyak ko
"One of those roses I put a ring on it pero tinapon mo yung roses sa akin then you left. Two years Thea two years kitang minahal pero yung two years na yun binasura mo lang. Tangina sabihin mo nga sa akin Thea minahal mo ba ako?"
"Luke minahal kita, sobrang minahal kita pero napagod lang ako"
" Bakit ka nga napagod?! For pete sake Thea tell me, kasi masisiraan ako ng bait kakaisip kung ano ba ang ginawa kong mali."
"Luke naging mahina ako, yes we fight a lot at nawawalan din tayo ng oras sa isa't isa dahil parehas tayong busy pero hindi ko naman akalain na susuko ako sa ating dalawa."
Humugot ako ng isang malalim na hinga saka ko sinabi sa kanya ang mga gusto kong sabihin
"Luke I'm sorry, I'm sorry about happened to us but I still love you and maybe m-maybe we can still fix it and go back"
Umiling lang ito saka binitiwan ang kamay ko pinunasan nito ang mga luha nya
"Thea, Babe this is hard I love you too" tumayo ito at inayos nito ang suot nyang polo saka sya tumingin sa langit na tila ba dinadama ang bawat sandali
"We face so much things together naisip ko din noon na kung may babae akong dadalhin sa altar ikaw na yun. Pero madaya ang tadhana kasi hindi nya ako pinagbigyan. I fight for you Thea, I did everything for you but loving you again is like killing me the second time. I want to trust you but you already broke my trust."
Muli itong tumingin sa akin "Thank you for the painful December, thank you for those memories but this is the last I think this is goodbye." Tumalikod ito at naglakad palayo sa akin
Naiwan akong mag isa at doon ko narealise kung gaano ako katanga at kadesperada
When I got home ibinaba ko lahat ng gamit ko at humiga sa kama. I closed my eyes and all memories cameback starts from the day he courted me, then he proposed to me to be his girlfriend, I remeber all the fights that we share together, all the good things and bad things
My eyes started to cry again, I let the tears fall parang yung sakit na nararamdaman ko hinahayaan ko lang na lumabas ito
Saturday morning and I'm too lazy to stand up and fix myself ang hirap maka move on patuloy pa rin na umiikot sa isip ko ang lahat ng nagyare kahapon
I grab all my strenght para makabangon then I saw myself in the mirror hindi ako ito
"This is not me, this is not the Althea Romero dahil ang Althea na alam ko ay palangiti, masiyahin, matapang, ma-pride,mahina,ma-"
Muling tumulo ang luha ko, how many times do I need to cry to ease the pain. I know this is all my fault if only mas inintindi ko lang ang relasyon namin, if only mas pinili ko sya kesa sa emosyon ko hindi ito mangyayare
I saw our picture together and it was our very first christmas together "If I could just turn back the time, I will go back to December and change my own mind" I swallowed many times before picking up our picture
"But it's too late for me" I hug the picture tightly bago ko ito pinunit, napaluhod ako sa sobrang sakit at tinitigan ko ang mga pira-pirasong papel
Maybe you're right hindi nga sumangayon sa atin ang tadhana, I'm sorry if my love kills you. I hope this is the one last cry, I hope we see each other again but happy, smiling and with no more regrets.
2 years after
Andito ako sa Department store sa isang mall where namimili ako ng mga ireregalo ko sa mga inaanak ko.
I was all done shopping ng maalala kong bumili ng mga christmas decor
I was on my way to my favourite store ng biglang makita ko sya
I was stunned in my place staring at him. Then suddenly I heard a song of Taylor S. Back to December and everything became slow mo
I saw him holding a little girl while showing some christmas decor then suddenly a woman came up I think this is his wife or girlfriend I don't know she kissed Luke and also the little girl they were seem so happy.
A smile formed on my lips
Thank you Luke, Thank you for everything
I turned my back and walked away
The End
________
Thank you for reading. Godbless to all readers
