Immortalis

Pretensius

Immortalis is found wandering aimlessly and without purpose. For within all of his thoughts, one idea interested him the most. Considering how twisted everything was, he began contemplating suicide. In the eyes of fate, all seemed grey and morphed into some sort of an abyss worn out by a sick and moiled existence. So he went around looking for a blunt object, anything that could help him finish the deed. A short time passes when he sees a collection of rocks laid out by a large gaping hole in the middle of nowhere. He descends to the bottom and picks up one of these rocks and clashes it against his head. Yet another odd turn takes place, the rock simply turns into nothingness. He stares long and hard at his hands thinking he might be insane. When he decides that he may yet possess some faculty, he goes to yet another rock and does the same. Nothing happens. He repeats this process a handful of times before realizing that no conclusion he met was one that he wanted, nor one that he could account for.

"AH, FOR FUCK SAKE. I CAN'T EVEN TAKE MY OWN LIFE? WHAT SORT OF SICK MIND WOULD DO THIS TO ME? IF THERE'S A GOD, OR GODS, OR ANYTHING THAT RULES OVER, FUCK YOU! FUCK. YOU." He screams at the top of his lungs, but there's no one to be seen, no one to help.

The very ground beneath his feet seemed to be careless of his suffering. His screams didn't even echo past the hole he was in. It's like he was in this bubble that guarded him against any sort of outside intervention. If anything, Immortalis started entertaining the thought that the first group he encountered was a figment of his imagination. Something his mind conjured up to avoid tipping over the psychotic edge. What's left of this? He can't experience pleasure, he can't attribute anything to his being, and he certainly can't find answers to any of it.

Having his spirits crushed by the deep ignorance he finds himself in, he climbs out of the hole and drops to his knees. He surrendered himself to whatever it is was doing this to him. Then, like the quickness of lightning flashes in a turbulent sky, his mind reaches out to a feign and undesirable possibility. He whispers to himself in a weak and broken up voice:

"Am I immortal? Is that the meaning of my name? How... how could I have not guessed it any sooner! Immortalis has the word 'immortal' in it. That would explain the rocks, but the group? They escaped me so quickly. Curses and splashes! I curse every single confounded thing in this unexplainable realm!"

Out of nowhere, a man appears. One that seems to define the word normal. Nothing stands out from his appearance, nothing except the fact that he appeared. He approaches Immortalis and places a hand on his shoulder.

"Come now, Immortalis. A man such as yourself cannot possibly sit and fiddle around for so long. The heavens and the hells of the universe have deemed it so, for naught can be objected to when decreed by the higher-ups. We all exist in association and subordination to someone or something else, lad! You and I are specs of dust in a space so vast and large, that millions just like us wander here and there. It is, however, the wishes of others that we remain hidden and unscathed by the rationalities beyond our comprehension."

"What the fuck are you talking about, you random cunt? Who are you!? Why am I here? When and where are we right now? Answer me damn it!"

The man lets out a little chuckle before he starts to flood Immortalis.

"Imagine you hold in your hand an invention of your own making. Anything at all. One day, you discover that this invention is not only broken but in a sense, evil. Every chance you give it is one that is lost forever. Not only that but also.."

"STOP WITH THE RIDDLES. Please, just give it to me straight. Why is all of this happening?"

"We all have our secrets, Immortalis. We also have our curses. If you believe that interrupting me once again will gain you the knowledge that you seek, then beware of an eternity that awaits you in curious ignorance and endless damnation. I am condemned to be the absolute opposite of those who are laconic. Anything I wish to express to anyone must come out either as a riddle or a long spread of words that need not be said, but must be uttered. Believe me, when I say, it is not in my interest to spend much time coddling semantics as though we have nowhere to be. But that's just it! We have nowhere to be or... at least you don't! So, please, let me speak and take my course. You will learn everything you want to from me as long as you are patient and exercise zen more often. For clarity's sake, I understand the depth of your situation, but I cannot release you from the shackles you're bound by if you halt my mouth every opportunity you get... All that said, my name is Pretensius."

"So, 'Pretensius', what is everyone here named after their curse or something?"

"I suppose you could make that claim without having the possibility of falsity or hypocrisy striking it down. However, I would not strictly say that 'everyone' shares our case. If anything, we occupy an extremely unique category of being. One that neither the majority nor the minority has any right over."

"Oh. Okay? Do you mind telling me where we are then? And What year is it?"

"Haha. Friend! It eludes me how you have not realized as of yet. We, here, exist in a timeless and spaceless purgatory. We have already lived many times over, and this is the conclusion of our repeated existence. Life after life, death after death. All of our actions led us here to this damned realm. Nothing else is of the same ilk. Only here do we roam endlessly with a past unbeknownst to us. A past that is typically delivered through object, spirit, or person. I come to you on behalf of my duty. One of my obligations is to inform people what they have done and let them live on with themselves. This plain before us has no location and is placed between all celestials. Purgatory, Immortalis! It seems like we weren't fit to reach Heaven nor descend into Hell. We are banished into nothingness, indefinite nothingness. Those who wander here such as you and I have done deeds so horrible that we ought to be tortured, but also deeds of kindness as to balance out the terribleness of our former acts. Nothing here is simple. Everything convoluted. We can neither die nor truly live. In order to live, we must experience both right and wrong. Here, those concepts do not take form. All there is, all there will ever be, is now. And the now is never."

"And the now is never? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means we will not be able to make anything of it. We are here to be here. We are one with the spirits around us. We all share the same footing. A rigid, stuck, unbearably unfathomable footing. You wished to know the where and the when correct? Now I have supplied you those. The what, my dear Immortalis, the what will seek to break every inch of your being. Every waking moment you experience will be one that you hold both regret and contempt for. That is if and only if you wish to know of your past. I do not know of anyone who has chosen to live in willful ignorance except one. But, I cannot speak of him as of yet. You must make a decision."

"Um... okay. Before I do though, I crossed by a group of people not so long ago. Now that I think about it, I have no idea how long ago it was. It seemed so recent yet so far back. Were they real? They kept speaking of a 'path' that they're on. Who were those people? Why did they help me?"

"Well, you see, the paradigm of our existence does not simply rest upon us being here without purpose. We aren't able to do anything with our 'time', we are not supposed to suffer from physical pain, but moreso, a mental one. Everytime you see a group come out of nowhere, or an individual even, they are seeking passage through this world. For those who have been deemed fit to serve in heaven will make their way there through here, and those who have been condemned to serve in hell willn't pass, but rather are destined to fall at an edge unfound and unseen. I have been told that this fall lasts for a very long period of time in accordance with our time on Earth. I cannot recall exactly how long, but it was somewhere along the lines of 100 years for those who are placed in the very depths of hell. For the ones who have done merely enough to end up in hell, at most, it would be 1 year."

"Oh... So they helped me because they were, essentially, good people?"

"Yes. Those who you cross roads with are people who are on a purposeful climb to their reward. They have lived life in a manner that pleases that which rules over us. But, once again for clarity's sake, they lived a life which constitutes good. They did not live a life which simply pleased their creator, but rather, lived a life which holds to a standard of genuine good which, ultimately, led to a place for them in heaven."

"Alright. As for my past, I'd like to leave that alone for the time being. Is it possible that I roam freely and discover this place until I decide to learn who I am? I refuse to believe that all we see is everything in this odd place. There must be some sort of spot where both heaven, hell, and earth converge?"

"I assure you, Immortalis, this place you speak of does exist. But in order for you to reach it, you will have to set out and venture for a length no one knows. You may find it immediately, or you may take an infinity to come close to it. Either way, I am at your disposal and can be summoned at any time. All you have to do is speak my name thrice, and I will appear before you."

"Got it. See you around then!"

Immortalis then takes his leave and goes on to find this convergence. Little does he know that, despite being cursed as a being in purgatory, something about him is special. Something makes him more unique than the rest of the souls which go about their duration there.