In the 'Lon' run, It'll Get Better

His First Wedgie

I guess I should've known something would happen to Thomas that day. The poor lad had never taken a step away from his parents till this whole adventure started. He was incompetent and, because of that, Ratcliffe had it in for him the most. He would take every opportunity to scold him and make him feel like the worst inferior that the good Lord ever allowed to walk on the Earth. The majority of us liked the boy. True, he was clumsy and incompetent, but he had a good heart. He sort of reminded me of myself when I was his age.

After the attack of the savages, Ratcliffe ordered us to finish unloading the ship and building the fort. Just as I was heading towards the ship, I saw Ratcliffe stop near Thomas clearly about to give him a tongue-lashing, "And you!" Thomas looked up with a child-like expression which seemed to infuriate the governor all the more, "Learn to use that thing properly. A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot." Thomas lowered his eyes, deeply ashamed of himself.

I couldn't help feeling sorry for the poor boy, stopped, and offered my hand to him to help him up, "Need a hand, laddie?" Thomas brushed a loose tear away and nodded gratefully. I helped him back on his feet and brought him close to my side, "Don't let him get to ya, Thomas. It wasn't your fault." Thomas sniffled, "Really?" I nodded and patted his side, "Of course, the gun doesn't make the man anymore than the clothes do." I squeezed him and pointed my thumb towards the ship, "Come along, now. The cannons won't unload themselves."

That was when it happened. One of the seamen, George Martin, decided that it would be a nice idea to have a little fun at the lad's expense. I heard whispering and saw him whispering to Roberts. Finally, George called Thomas' name, "Oh, Tho-mas!" he sang. Thomas stopped and turned around. George beckoned him with one finger with a sly smile I didn't trust, "I have something for you." Thomas twisted up his face, "You do?" George nodded slowly. Thomas turned to me, "I'll come as soon as I can." 

I shouldn't have let him go. If I knew what was coming next, I definitely wouldn't have.

The minute I was out of sight, George and Roberts carried it out (Thomas told me later). George turned his finger, "Turn around." Thomas was confused, but he did anyway. Turned out that the something he had for him was a wedgie! George and Roberts took both sides of his underwear and gave him a Squeaky-Clean. After this, Roberts pushed him down on the ground and held him down whilst George yanked Thomas' hat off and pulled his underwear over his head giving him an atomic wedgie. Thomas screamed in pain, he never thought it could hurt so much. Roberts laughed, "Awww, does baby Thomas have a boo-boo?" he asked in a taunting voice. Thomas didn't answer, already tears were pricking his eyes and a sob was forming in his throat. After this, George took a loose handkerchief from his pocket and gagged him with it.

By this time, I had only heard a scream. I wanted to go see, but the governor was barking orders at us. When I heard of it, it would be much later when I learned that story. 

George and Roberts left him there laughing to themselves. Thomas managed to undo the wedgie and retrieved his hat, but he stayed put for a few minutes. He never imagined anyone would do something like this. When he finally came to help finish building the fort, he didn't say anything about it. He went quietly about his work trying to avoid eye-contact with George and Roberts who were still snickering to themselves.