social media life .

part 27

Someone came into my room i panicked at first but then i turned around to see samy i ran up to him and squeezed him into a hug . I havent talked to him in ages as we were both about to leave to go outside i saw the scratches on my arms omds i didnt cover them , if he finds out he is gonna be so mad at me we were about to walk down the stairs when i turned around about to sprint back to my room . Samy was confused ,he grabbed hold of my arm quickly but his grip was to strong to get out of

S-what are you doing

M-oh.. uhm well im going to get a hoodie

S-its so hot outside

M-uhh yh but im cold so ill catch you later

I really wanted the ground to swallow me i didnt even know what to say to him. I just couldnt let him see my arms .

M-well im going to go get .. my uh hoodie now

S-yh ok

I sighed in releif as he let my arm go i was walking back until he said

S-wait

M-yh

S-whats that

M-uhm i dont know what your talking about

S-those on your arms

He came closer to me and my breathing started getting quicker, i didnt know whether to run or breakdown i was about to run till he grabbed my waist , i think i just made him more mad uh god. He took my arms and stared at them without saying a word . I was honestly terrified bcuz i didnt know what his reaction would be . I was staring at the ground for a few minutes until he lifted up my chin with his hands so i was looking directly at him , i could see how hurt he was and i hated myself for hurting him like this tears started to form in my eyes

S-why

Mia stayed quite

S-whyy mia ! Why would you do this

M-bcuz ... i felt so alone i made some of the biggest mistakes and i deserved it in the end . All i keep doing is hurting you guys and thats not what i want to do i dont want to be your problem.

S-your not alone and you never will be , yeh maybe youve messed up a little but everyones done that right... everyones slipped up before soesnt mean yu do this.

M-you dont get it i made huge mistakes i kept getting broken by the same boy and then i left you just to get hurt again , bcuz i thought he had changed but i was clearly being stupid.

S-look he cheated that was his fault , it was on him he decided to hurt you over and over again but you are still blaming yourself which needs to stop now ok

I slowly nod as tears trickle down my face

S-who else knows

M-uhm no one

Samy was about to go i knew he was about to go tell them so i grabbed his arm to stop him

S-i have to tell them

M-no you cant , none of them can know . ever . They wont trust me again , fine only charli knows

I brought him into my room to tell him

M-it started when the fans found out about me and josh breaking up most of them were hating on me , then the night i found out we were going to the bahamas i accidently cut to deep causing blood to rush out i tried to stop it but it wouldnt stop so charli took me to the hospital . Then a few days ago i did it again ...

S-they are all gonna find out sooner or later
He was heading to the door until i went to stop him again
M-please
I said in a quiet voice as i was on the verge of tears
He pulled me in as i held on to his shirt and quietly sobbed into his chest.