'lets do this thing'

here we are

The thrumb off the party blares around me and my eyes close against the bright lights maybe its the we3d or the vodka i just downed but my arms feel soft and my stomach is numb "violet? v." i hear Lukes voice and feel his hand around my waist guiding me out of the hallway into a bathroom, "hey, its hot unzip me." my voice is surprisingly clear and firm as i turn leaning my head against the cold white ties on the wall, his fingers press warm electricity into my skin as he pulls the zip down the side of my sort black over dress with its deep plunge at the neck line, his finger then slide up meeting mine where i pull the straps off my shoulders. the dress slips to the floor as hie turns me firmly to face him close, our breathing is fast and shallow. i reach up and brush a black lock of hair out of his eyes. This is a mistake i think as i unbutton his top he kisses my neck slipping his left hand from one side of me to my neck then  lower it takes everything not to melt into him as i feel every part of everything . "you ok?" he smile passing my dress and helping me zip it up, i respond quietly "yeah i'm good, we cant be together you know that dont you. as much as i want to we..." he pulls me into him pressing his warm soft lips and i feel his smile under the kiss "baby i know, but god know i wish everday we could be together for ever and ever, just you and i." his eyes and smile i lose myself in them before softly shaking out of it and focusing of breathing it hard with him like he takes one of my lungs away. "i wish that too, but leah i cant lose leah and you cant either shes your twin!" my face falls and i reach to the door handle knowing this has to be the last time we talk like this. i hury back to the throbbing parting and look around for leah when i find her we head out side walking along the well light path to the next street where we turn into her drive way just as Lukes' car slows and pulls into the drive way "little sis" he calls out to leah she turns but i don look around to him, "yeah Lukey boo, damn we should have come home in your car." "yeah you should've," he steps out of the car and countiues talking as we head into their quite house, " well we are gonna sleep so see ya," she grabs my hand as we run upstairs to her bed room "bye Luke." I call to him glancing at him for only a second

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the morning light spills through leahs curtians, and i hear her and her brother talking down stairs, going into her bathroom i stare into her mirrior thankfull i washed off my make up and plaited my hair last night, i pull out my soft shoulder length dark blode hair and push my light bangs out of my face splashing it with water and running down the stairs in the sweats i slept in. "morning kiddo," leah laughs pushing coffee under my nose, "how are you awake and happy," i mumble slidding my hand around the coffee, she motions to louies who grabs the chair next to me, "he, the devil dragged me out of bed bc he needed me to turn the hot water on and i had to walk to the back of the house barefoot that that is how." she laughs at the end and hen looks at us im tens breathing slowly into me cup and Louie is coughing to cover up his laughs as he rubs his thumb across my spare hand  which lays on the bench, she glances at i and i freeze why did he do that why the hell did he do THAT! "oh.my.god. your fucking my best friend, and you hes my twin your fucking my twin." "leah, its not like that," Luke's hand is still on my hand but he stands shes wide eyed in shock not angry but confused "leah i'm so sorry." "were you drunck you regret it right?" she looking back and forth between us breating between words, i look at Luke and he looks at me my hand pulls away from his and i stand "no the first time i was last night i was but it wasnt a misstake i love you leah but um i love Luke to, im so sorry." she steps away from the bench and pulls me into a hug. "wait sorry what? you what me?" Luke grabs my arm and forces me to look at him "akward..." me and leah say at the same time she giggles and walks upstairs slowly, "forget it idek why i said that," i laugh and turn away "anway its not happening again," i say that last sentence as i run up the stairs.

saying good bye to leah i leave the house 15 minutes later bumping into mr and mrs hedger as i leave i mumble a hurried bey thanks bye and run to my car wich is parked on they drive i set in reverse and rush home. *she doesn't speed!do not speed kids! NOT safe.*Our house is two story and in a somewhat safe street about 5 mins drive and 10 minute walk. I would never drive usually but leah crashed her car last week, well she didn't crash it her stupid boyfriend did while he was 'shopping' code for well cheating. I walk to the front door and slip inside calling out to my mum as i peer into the kitchen "hi, honey your dads at work and i was just about to go to work to so ill see you soon." my mum hugs me and leaves before i get a word in and i flop to the floor . my eyes burn and i let the welling tears slide down my light tan cheeks where i swipe them away.  why am i crying god in such a child. 

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..................................two weeks later............................................

 It feels like y guts are coming up as i throw up  loudly into the toilet. "honey? are you alright this is the 6th morning this we..." i cut out off coughing and then loudly responding "no I'm fine just um must have a bug." or a baby shit a baby i didn't think about that  quickly pulling my phone from the bench  i look at the day Saturday 5th searching in my mind i realize i was due 4 days ago. i stand up and unlock the door bumping right into my mum. "you look pale pleas talk to me honey, if you feel like you need to lose weight you don't your perfect and," she breaths in shes close to tears i lean forward and hug her, "no mum i don't i swear i'm gonna go to Mrs i mean Dr.hedger because shes at home today," "ok Hun, i'm off for work see you tonight."  I walk further into my room as my mum leaves. pulling out a sort dress and a cropped sweater i tugging my hair out of its messy pony tail and brush my short dark blonde waves so they fall just skimming my shoulders.  I lace up my shoes and grab my balenciaga bag shoving my phone  into it and grabbing my keys , thumping down the stairs i scream bye to my dad, jangling the keys and running out side a light rain is sprinkling outside softly and i cover my hand pulling myself into the car. As i drive singing along to 'sign of the times' by harry styles i try to think rationally and i pull up outside leahs' house  tapping the wheel Leah will be there and her mum (my doctor) what if she gives me a pregnancy test and what it Leah see or worse Luke . and what if its positive she'll ask who in her loving other mother tone and i'll lie and say i don't know and shell look over to me and say violet i know you and you know who." i shake my head i cant think about how her eyes would change when i said her son. i pull out on to the road and drive away pulling up to the pharmacy. walking inside of the shop i feel the warm rush of air con and i walk fast to the pregnancy tests and grab 3 one of each brand and walk to the counter dropping money on the counter and waiting for the teenager to scan them i look up slightly and want to scream its Luke's best friend Marley "um hey," he laughs and replies "hey just tell me they aren't for luck or Leah." "Luke?" "you know i know if they are for you they are also for Luke." my voice catches and my words stumble "um. oh. no of course its not i'm gonna bye." i grab the bag he put the tests in and the change and walk fast to my car.

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- (: first chapter hope you liked it next chapter out tomorrow i just need to edit and things. feel free to comment (: