Why... (voltron angst)

I wasnt enough.

       ⚠️YO BIG ASS TRIGGER WARNING⚠️
               -self harm and suicide
               -cheating in a relationship
               - Overdosing 👉👈
               - gets very actually fucked up and I'm sorry about that ONE specific part. So- hahaha enjoy- or don't..........:: but.
                        ...I'm sorry... kinda-

    Having trust issues sucks. Especially when someone you love is the reason you have them. I was told, fucking told, to be careful when it came to loving someone. And I genuinely thought I was.,, I trusted you... I gave you my all... you had my heart.. and you decided to leave. Man, what the actual fuck. Why is it when I actually think I can trust people, they go and stab me in the back like I'm nothing to them? I don't get it.. "where's the real you?!" "What happened to you?" "Stop being such a bitch." "geez chill okay, don't get all emotional!" The fucking words you say STICK. Like fucking glue to a piece of paper. It hurts. Worse than being addicted to cocaine and someone taking it from you, you feel like you're just gonna have a heart attack. God damn.... you're gonna be the death of me.. I just wanted to feel wanted. I wanted to be loved okay? I'm sorry for wanting that.. I'm sorry for wanting to be happy with you. Sorry for trying. I'm sorry I wasted your time. Not a big deal anymore though... by the time you finish this. I'm gone. If I trusted you, which I genuinely did! I still Just wanted to tell you I love you.. and I wanted to hear it. Even if it was fake. I love you... I'm sorry I wasn't enough
                       ~with love and respect,
                                      keith kogane

    Keith set the paper on the bed him and lance shared.. "I really did love you.." he said setting the paper on lances pillow. Taking off his jacket, folding it nicely and setting it on the end of the bed, he grabbed his blade and his anxiety and depression meds.. as well as his prescription painkillers. Tears lightly stream down his face. Where's lance? Is that what you're wondering yet? Well, he's out and about parting with his friends. So Keith took this as an opportunity of sorts.. to get rid of the pain.

    Locking himself in the bathroom, he smiled to himself though his tears. "It's okay Keith..." he said to himself, "it'll all be over in a few minutes." He opened his pill bottles.. barley hesitating to  swallowing every pill from all three bottles. He sat down by the bathtub, crying. "Why.... why can't I just be enough?" He asked himself as he pulled out his blades...

    1....2......3...4....5- the cuts keep going.. covering his arms completely in cuts and blood, each deeper and deeper as he cuts more.. His vision blurs. He drops the blade. He cried out in pain and hurt. "Why arent I enough.. why."

    His heart started racing. This is it.. he thought to himself. Finally, peace.. no more suffering. No more tears. No more pain.. he closed his eyes. Why was it so hot? Is this what dying feels like?His wrists and forearms hurt like hell. But no to worry, he won't feel it in a minute or two.

      It began to get really hard to breath. He didn't know why he was trying to hold on, after all he wanted to be free. So why was he trying to stay? He didn't have an answer. He let out a sad and pain filled sigh, and closed his eyes. "One more minute.." he whispered.

    Now wouldn't it be amazing if lance would just come home and saved his lover? Yes it would be. Then we could life happy Ever after, right? Haha... no.

   As it turns out, as Keith is dying on the bathroom floor, Lance is over at shiros house. And yep you guessed it. Cheating on keith.

     "Lance," shiro said, pulling away from their kiss. "Yes baby?" Lance said his arms behind shiros neck, "what's up?" Shiro gave a soft sigh, he knew this was wrong... he knew it was going to hurt keith. But he still did it. "Nothing I just wanted to hear your voice." He said with a dazed look and a soft smile. "Hmm is it because you just can't get enough of me because I'm with Keith more?" Shiro felt bad. He didn't want to admit it though, so he didn't. "Yes." "Well then baby, I'll have to come around more.." lance said kissing shiros neck.

   Lances phone started ringing. He let it go to voice mail. "Lance you missed that call." Shiro said, "That's because I'd rather make out with you than talk to anyone right now." He said. Lances phone rang again, "Alright" he answered it. "Lance McClain? Is this you?" A voice on the other end says in an unreadable tone. "This is him, may I ask who's calling?" He said back. "This is your neighbor, katlyn." "Okay and may I ask why you're calling me, katlyn?" Lance said. Kaytlyn was quiet for a moment, "are you home?" "No I'm at a friends house, why?" "Uh well.. I heard what sounded like yelling/crying and I was wondering if you and Keith were okay." She said fear in her voice. "Wait crying?" He asked, shiro looked at him worried. "Uh yeah, I'd say about 5 or 10 minutes ago?" She said. "Okay thanks I'll be home in a few minutes to check on Keith. Thanks Katlyn." he hung up. "I've got to go, somethings up with Keith" Shiro nodded.... "bye"

    15 minutes later lance pulled up into the driveway. Parked his truck and headed for the door. "Hope it's not locked." He said to himself. And to his luck, it was unlocked. He looked around for a minute, "keith?" He called out, "kitten?" No reply. He when their bedroom think maybe Keith had fallen asleep. Instead he came a cross a piece of paper and Keith jacket siting in the bed? That's odd.. he though.

He picked up the paper and sat down, he unfolded it and started to read it. His heart dropped. "Keith!" He yelled. "KEITH?!" No answer. Of course not.. he starts to panic and cry.

He frantically called an emergency service line, telling them to hurry. Then he looked for Keith.. the bathroom. Lance couldn't get the door to budge, so he did what anyone would do and bust the door in. "Keith—" he stopped. The sight before him broke his heart. His boyfriend, lay there on the ground blood all over his arms and clothes, foam from his mouth... Lance knew it. He knew he was to late. He can't save him. Holding his dead lover in his arms, he cried "You were enough. Keith.. I loved you. You were always e-enough!"

.Clearly he wasn't enough for him.