Non-reciprocal Love by Nicole Naidoo and Dermaine Naidoo

A love written in two perspectives

Chapter 1: Part 1

Amber!, Amber Lockwood, was her name. She was an ordinarily awkward, and quiet girl. A lonesome teenager who was invisible to her classmates. Nothing seemed to be important to her, not boys, popularity, and not even life itself. Sure, she was closed off from the world but that was because she had her own demons to worry about, she had been through quite a lot in her lifetime. For a 18 year old, she had lost her parents in a terrible car accident on their way from the airport, she had lived with people who enslaved her, moved to her stepmother's house, and had a high risk operation which confirmed that she would be barren, no children to pass on her family name or genes. She never even liked kids before the operation but knowing that she could not have her own, made her want them even more. Amber's dad had remarried but on the day he died, he was with Jackie, her mother, discussing family holidays and birthdays. But this was not important now because it was not even the pit of her story. She was fearless for the most part. Of all things, she was afraid of failure, death, and loneliness; therefore, she dedicated her late teenage years to her studies, to avoid failure even if it meant doing something her heart was not passionate about. Apart from her tragic past, there was a light in her, it burned brighter than any star in this galaxy. In fact, it was the only thing that kept her sane, and that was FAITH, she knew she would not be where she is without it, and despite all her struggles, she knew that God had a plan in place for her.

Amber was not perfect, not even close. She made terrible decisions, mistakes she could not erase but she had forgiven herself and moved on. As in literally moving to a different place, a fresh start as she would call it.. She moved to London, and my oh my how she loved it there! Amber was a very passionate soul, whatever she put her mind to, she worked for it but sometimes the things she chose did not choose her. One thing in particular, the one thing she desired most. HIM. She has had many, more than a teenager should have, not loves but interests and yet she could not shake this particular person even though she has never had a meaningful conversation with him. Sorry, where are my manners?!! The guy she desired was THEODORE GOLDBERG...

He was not your typical jock but the thing she admired most about him was his maturity, humor, and his faith. I mean, who would not want a man strong in his faith, his love for God was the reason she liked him so much. Maybe a little too much. However, he was not perfect, no one is, but she still wanted him despite his flaws. Unfortunately, he was not one to even notice her...He was different and DAMN HOT as teenagers would say these days, and definitely not a player but had physical features of one. His eyes were dark brown, so mysterious that made your knees quiver when he looked or winked at you..and he did this knowing exactly what it did to her. He had black hair that honestly looked good long and curly, or short.. Any hairstyle suited him, I mean he could be in the worst condition and she would still see what she sees in him today. And his smile.. My god, his smile! It made her smile. It was tattooed in her mind, replaying it over and over again as if it gave her life...

But this hurt her because she knew she could never have him. Amber kept on fantasizing about what they would have been and kept on praying about him to this day but she also realized that if it's not in God's will then there was nothing she could do. He was tall and slim, the two features she looked for first in a man. I guess that was her type. And every time she thought of him, she would get lost in her own head space, lost in her thoughts. She never liked him at first, not the way she does now. It was first a physical attraction until she was stupid enough to catch feelings for a guy completely out of her league. Amber was not a social person, she struggled to communicate but once she became comfortable with the person, her true self was revealed. He would never know her because she could never speak to him, even though she tried, It seemed physically impossible because whenever she saw him, she got this strange tingly feeling that caused her hands to shake and to overthink everything. I mean, absolutely everything. Nonreciprocal love was her story unfortunately. This story began when they first began chatting to each other, they knew each other through a mutual friend. Amber initiated the conversation and yeah! She was intoxicated at the time because that's when you have courage, right? They spoke for a couple of months.. And yeah she was shook that he found her attractive but then again which guy would say no to that friends with benefits pact. More months passed and they spoke about mistakes that were made, they called each other and planned things, well mostly her, But there were always obstacles in the way as if it were a sign. Eventually, they met up alone and there was this moment, this moment where she wanted to kiss him, every inch of her body wanted him in her arms, to hold him and tell him how she felt but she knew what the answer would be. She wanted to kiss him so badly, but she just said the dumbest things and wasted both of their time, time they didn't have. How can one human being throw someone off that much? This felt like a romance novel from back in the day when courtship was still a thing.. Clearly, she was an old soul.. That has never happened to her before, she loved her last boyfriend. I mean.. she was into him and that was something beautiful, until she self-sabotaged it. Because that's what she does when something works out. She finds any excuse to get out of it because she thinks she doesn't deserve it until it's gone. She is a complicated person who broke hearts just to get hers broken. Karma right?