Marionette ; yoonseok

iFinal.

"Don't leave me...again. Please..." Yoongi inhaled for air and his voice cracked when he extended his arm to reach the hem of Hoseok's shirt. Hoseok looked down at him with an expression Yoongi can't fathom. He doesn't know if it is sympathy, sadness, or anger; but he wished it was sympathy, even it will hurt his pride, he doesn't care anymore. Hoseok is all he needs, though he knows the feeling is not the same. "I'll do anything, Hoseok...so please...don't..."

Tell me you love me. I don't mind if it's a lie, because you always lie.

It wasn't like this before. Before, Hoseok is the one who stays at Yoongi's apartment and cook for Yoongi when he comes home after his part-time job. Before, Hoseok kisses him with love that he never imagined Hoseok will give. Before, Hoseok can't even pinch or slap him playfully. Before, Hoseok can't sleep without him by his side. Before, Hoseok loves Yoongi. I was Hoseok's life.

Everything changed when Hoseok met this young man named Jimin from the dancing classes that he took everyday. Since then, Hoseok started to fade from Yoongi's eyes faster than anyone can imagine.

He began to ignore Yoongi's presence. When Yoongi says 'I love you', he won't respond. Not only Hoseok went ice cold to Yoongi, he even started hitting him whenever he is mad or frustrated at something and fuck him harshly, which he did not dare to do before.

"Let go." With a push, Yoongi fell on the cold floor with loud thud, his back feeling the pain from impact, but that didn't stop him from convincing him not to go. He tried to reach Hoseok's hand this time, yet failed. With a click of his tongue, Hoseok kicked him hard in the stomach, which caused the little man to wince and fight the feeling of stomach acids from coming up to his throat. "I told you to let go, didn't I?! You're so fucking annoying."

"Ho--," Yoongi coughed violently and blood dropped down to the floor from his mouth as warm tears fell from his eyes; he wiped his mouth with his hand and reached for Hoseok, who is standing with his back, ready to leave.

Yoongi's best friend, Seokjin, already warned him to stay away from Hoseok once he saw the bruises and cuts all over his body.
"Staying with that man is suicide itself...I don't want to see you in pain, Yoongi. If I were you, I'd take my words as gospel and go back to Daegu, or stay with me at my home where you'll be safe."

The younger one politely refused his hyung's offer, albeit knowing that his hyung's intentions were clean and he only wants Yoongi to be safe, something told Yoongi that he can't leave Hoseok and he can't live without the said man.

Yoongi is aware from that day when Hoseok changed that something bad, really bad, would happen to him, nonetheless, he continued to give deep care for the younger man and love him thoroughly, give him everything he can give. Money, food, sex, and shelter, you name it. All for that just for the younger man. Yoongi will go through all the pain, bruises, and wounds just to satisfy him.

"Stop crying, it's pathetic..." Hoseok hissed, "you're pathetic."

"Am I...really...pathetic? Do you...not love me...anymore?" Yoongi's voice trailed off and looked down, not wanting or hearing the man's reply even though that was a question he gave. He was afraid, so afraid, that it would hurt so fucking much than the pain left in his body.

It didn't took a long time before Hoseok snapped a sharp, "Yes. Yes."

That's right. I'm just a toy for you now. How could he love a broken toy?

To Hoseok, Yoongi is nothing but a toy. A toy that he can shatter whenever he is angry or frustrated at something. A toy that he can fuck harshly and care none about whether his toy is hurt or bruised. A toy that he can just throw away after he's done with it or bored with it.

Like a marionette with its strings manipulated by someone, making it move against its free will. Only, the someone is his former lover. Yoongi wants to move on his own too, but unfortunately, the puppeteer is not allowing him to. The suffocating strings are attached to him tightly, not giving a chance for him to move a single muscle.

"You're...going to...his place...?" Yoongi breathed slowly, his pulse racing like crazy, again, scared for the answer but expecting it.

"Yes." Hoseok simply answered like it was nothing which hurt the older boy most.

"D-don't...please? P-please...tell me you love me. Tell me you need--!"

Suddenly, a hand met the forlorn man's neck and gripped it, slamming his body to the wall behind him, making the man groan, inhaling air and coughed blood, "Fucking stop it already! How many times you've asked me that?! I'm sick of hearing it. Again, I don't love you anymore and I'll never will."

Black and despondent, tears ceaselessly fell from Yoongi's eyes. He wanted to protest and speak, but no words came out, it was all stuck in his throat. Frustration he felt; did he not do everything? He did, yes. Simply, Hoseok can't be satisfied and will never be satisfied by him.

The puppeteer opened the door, not looking back at the grey marionette, "I'll be back after a week. Be sure to make me food." With that, he slammed the door shut and left.

--

The food he made for his puppeteer was already spoiled and untouched, indicating that many days passed by. He waited for his owner to come back, because he promised to come back within a week. He waited, and waited, but not even the master's shadow was seen.

The sullen marionette lay there on the same position where he was left by his owner, insesantly weeping, not wanting to move.

--

More days passed by and still no sign of the man he was waiting for. The poor marionette is now thin and seriously ill, but still praying for the puppeteer to come back, but no answer to his plea.

Then, realization hit the marionette.

He lied again...didn't he? He won't come back.
Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies.
I hate lies, but I don't hate him.
I'm a fucking fool.

The idea of him dying suddenly popped inside his head; instead of crying over it, he actually felt relieved.

Atleast, I won't feel pain anymore.
Atleast, he won't bother to come back for me.
Atleast...he will be happy.

"I love you..." he breathed, "Jung Hoseok."