Not Over You (A Troyler Fanfic)

I Love You, Too

“Yes, one please. Yes, please. Okay. Tomorrow? 9 o’ clock? In the morning. Sounds good. Thanks, bye!”

 Putting the phone down, Tyler checked the clock. The red numbers on the clock red 11:00 pm. This morning, Troye had left for the airport, angrily, blaming Tyler for not treating him right, and not caring enough. It wasn’t like Tyler didn’t care, he did care. A whole lot. Just this time, Tyler had fucked up, and he knew it all too well. Thinking about Troye make Tyler start crying again, so wiping his eyes on his shirt sleeve, he walked to his storage close to get out a suitcase.

 But on the way back to his couch, a shirt caught Tyler’s eye. Troye’s shirt, dammit. Troye must have forgotten it, Tyler thought, bringing the shirt to his nose. Instantly, he was reminded of Troye, and his eyes stung as if peppers had been thrown in them. Dropping it, Tyler continued walking. “I’m going to fix it,” he repeated to himself over and over in an attempt to calm himself. He knew he really had messed up. Usually, when Troye was angry, Troye shut him off completely, locking his door so Tyler couldn’t get in or something like that. Today, however, Troye had raised his voice, shouting that he loved Tyler. And to Tyler, that was the scariest thing. Tyler had never heard Troye like that, and the words had pierced Tyler like thorns from a rose.

But Tyler cared for Troye’s wellbeing, more than his own, to be honest. Tyler felt sad knowing that Troye was hurting, especially because it was Tyler’s own fault. Because at the end of the day, Tyler loved Troye. Truly, really, loved him.

And Tyler knew he was going to have be strong enough to show it. Troye had been able to say “I love you,” even if it was in the form of “I fucking love you so much but I also hate you at the same time,” or at least, that’s what Tyler felt it was.

So anyway, Tyler haphazardly threw some clothes into the suitcase. Running to the bathroom, he grabbed a toothbrush and toothpaste. He took his onsie of his bead and stuffed them all in the suitcase, wondering what else he needed.

Tyler tried to remember where he had put his passport. He looked all over, in the cupboards, suitcases, even on the floor. He tried to remember where he had left it last, but he just couldn’t. As more time passed, Tyler grew exasperated. He sat down on the rug in his family room, and silently sobbed. When the clock read 12:00 am, Tyler got back up again. He searched the kitchen, to no prevail. Finally, finally, Tyler found his passport in the suitcase he had been packing in. Swearing at how stupid he was, Tyler, exhausted zipped his suitcase and dove into bed. He set his alarm for 5:30 am, knowing he was only going to get a few hours of sleep. He changed the song on the alarm to “Touch,” Tyler’s favorite song on his favorite boyfriend’s (well, he only had one boyfriend obviously and were they even together anymore?) album, and slept, hoping he wouldn’t have emotionally dreaming dreams about Troye.

                                                               .............

“...to the curl of your lips, in the center of eclipse, in total darkness I, I reach out and-”

Tyler jumped out of bed, hitting his phone so it would stop the alarm. He changed into sweat pants and a t-shirt. Grabbing his suitcase, he stopped at his bathroom, where he poured water on his face, waking him up. Putting my quiff up is too much work, he thought lazily, and so he just walked out of his apartment, locking the door.

While he waited for his Uber, he thought of when he would get to his destination. It took 20 hours to get there, but since the time difference was a lot, Tyler would likely be very jet lagged. Either way, he would sleep on the way, he decided.

The air outside was dark, and it whipped around the side of his hoodie. He pulled his hands in his sweatshirt to avoid the cold, but it didn’t work. The street lights were lit, but the place was dark, resulting in what would have been a very artsy picture if Tyler wasn’t freezing his ass off and had enough energy to open the instagram app.