My love messages

Dear Diary:

It's been a while since I've written to you , i apologize for that .But my life has been a real mess... a real struggle trying to blend in and fit just like any other teenage girl. However, i feel a little bit guilty I've been a really bad girl during those few months .

Last week i had my first kiss. So lame i know specially now that I'm almost seventeen,  and it wasn't so charming as i tough and not with that " one"  aka Aiden. He became really distant recently i feel really bad about that.

Anyway the guy I've kissed is Hotter than Aiden nicer and a lot better and he asked me to date him and I've turned him down.. why don't I feel anything for him ? i mean what i feel for Aiden" my formal best friend" is beyond the norm, i crave to hear his voice and I'd die from his touch. Well now he has a new girlfriend named Elisabeth,  a beautiful name with a beautiful face what do I have to compete with her huh?

Anyway enough talking about him and let's talk about me . This week I've kissed another dud,this time he's at the same school as me, he has his charisma too, and a built muscles too. But he seem to avoid me ever since , like if he's ashamed of me or whatever. Well I won't blame him, i mean look at me fat and ugly ...

And what i feel more guilty about is the fact that I'm keeping this things secrets from my one and only best friend, but i wouldn't dare to tell her about this things she will lecture me for the rest of my life.

Anyway I have a Date tomorrow with  this guy who's a couple of years older than me wish me luck!