The How to Book

How to get kicked out of a restaurant :

• Walk up to someone eating and whisper in there eat that you saw the waiter spit in their food

• When ordering your food change your mind every 10 seconds

• Scream at the top of your lungs that you saw a finger in your food

• Make awkward burping noises

• Start shaving your arm pits at the table

• Complain that you should be able to pay the bill in monopoly money

• Take off your pants and wave them around in the air

• Impersonate the people sitting next to you

• Ask people to help you pop your pimple

• Clip your toe-nails at someone else's table right in their face

• Flash someone

• Ask the waiter if he/she got your rash cream yet

• Lick the hostess's face

• When people are on a date ask the girl "why are you dating a dork?"

• Sing the Barney theme song and dance around like a drunk

• Tell people that are eating chicken "you ate frank" then start crying

• Yell that plates are gonna take over the world

• Tell people you saw Harry styles naked in the bathroom

• Poke people's cheek until they slap you out of annoyance