It's Saturday and Tanthai woke up at 6 in the morning. Or rather he decided to finally open his eyes and stop pretending to sleep after waking up an hour earlier. He and saturday mornings shouldn't even be in a single sentence together but sleep is as rare as any working brain cell when he just had lost possibly forever the only chance of kissing his senior who also happens to be his crush.
Their team lost the game and Tanthai lost the chance to 'reward' his favorite P'. No one is probably as disheartened as himself after watching a game they were about to win until after the opposing team made a goal at the last minute. The disappointment completely whelmed him that he wasn't able to speak and just stood there frozen after a few long minutes only to be jolted back to reality and pushed back to the edge of the cliff again after an intensely painful moment. They didn't win the game that's true but the hurt came from an entirely different form of losing.
Turns out it didn't escape the spectators attention how well P'Japan played that night. He is still his manly and dashing and competitive self in the field but tonight people aside from him became acutely aware of it too. Some even say he's sporting a different look of determination which Tanthai can easily agree to if he's not busy telling himself to rein in his hallucinations. And after the game ended, right after the compulsary handshakes, one pretty smitten fan approached his P', asked for a selfie and handed her phone. Possibly asking for his number or line while sneakily clinging at his arm. But what actually sealed the deal is the warm smile showing at P'Japan's face at that time and the small talk that followed. Something heavy fell at his chest right after. And it's certain. He's heartbroken.
Tanthai's more rational side if that ever existed is telling him to not overthink things and do what he's supposed to do. Which is to go to the locker rooms, tell his P' how great the game had been, make sure he's okay and try to lighten the mood even if it means being his stupid self. But he can't. He knows he's usually not the type prone to pessimism and negative assumptions but a person in his situation is a house of cards. Even the most gentle of breezes can pose a threat. And it really doesn't take much to shake his confidence specially since there's no confirmation that the object of his affections returns those feelings.
So with a blurring vision, he tried getting out of the place as fast as he could, much to the bewilderment of his friends. How many times he stumbled, tripped and lost his balance before getting back to his room that night he didn't know. There are other more pressing matters at that time.
It's a good thing the game was scheduled on a friday night. He had the whole weekend to get over whatever he is feeling for his senior. To compose himself. To try to get back to his carefree self who doesn't obssess over a certain someone. And to rid his brain of most if not all unnecessary thoughts.
With various aches and minor scrapes at random places in his arms and legs, and extreme fatigue after silently crying for who knows how long in the night he managed to sleep for a few hours. He wants to stay in bed for the rest of the morning but a sudden realization strucked him. And that is, the chances of getting over his feelings over the weekend will be akin to him getting a perfect score in his exams. The probability of that happening is close if not exactly zero. He can be a very determined person but there's just so much a person's determination can do. So he figured he will have the avoid his P' for a couple of weeks or probably months.
With that in mind, he can imagine himself having to runaway from his P' most of his days at university. And since that will require an awful lot of stamina, he realized it's better to get moving than lazying about in his bed and drowning himself with negative thoughts. He then thought it'd be best to start his day with a jog. He read somewhere before that it also helps clear one's mind. Oh how he'll willingly give everything just to clear his mind of all his thoughts, innocent or otherwise of a certain special senior. So after doing basic hygiene care and donning a running attire, without ever once checking his phone, he set off to jog.
*****
