50 shades of salmon

Chapter 29

"How did you?  Why did?" I asked stammering looking at my ex.

"I saw you needed help" he said looking past me.

"How? How is it that you are just conveniently in the same place as me as soon as I get back?" I crossed my arms.

"Can we not do this in public with half the town watching?" he asked looking around, I looked away from him to see a large crowd forming around us. I walked off and pushed a few people as I passed by, I went into an ally after I realized no one was following me. I leaned against the building and breathed. "Lucy"

"So you're following me now?" I scoffed throwing my hands in the air. 

"Can we just talk? Please?" he asked leaning on the opposite wall. 

"Anytime I talk you don't listen, if you did we wouldn't be doing this" I waved between us.

"Well if I didn't help you, you'd still be in PHILZ being tossed around" his eyes went big.

"And I thanked you right?" I asked leaning forward pointing towards myself. "The conversation ended it was over, done."

"Well you know what I don't care, I'm going to talk and you're going to listen." 

"Do you hear yourself?" I asked blinking rapidly "You know what, I'm done" I waved my hands and turned walking out of the alley.

"Please?" he grabbed my arm stopping me.

"Get off" I hissed yanking my arm out his grip.

"Lucy" I kept walking.

"What?" I yelled turning back to him.

"Please?" he asked again.

"You have five minutes" I held up one hand before crossing my arms and standing there waiting for him to talk.

"Thank you" he exhaled "I'm sorry, for everything" he started "I didn't know what I had when I did, then I lost it and I thought I was fine, I was wrong." I leaned against the building and placed my bag on the ground "You look so happy, and it hurts me that I can't be apart of that happiness and that someone else is."

"So you see I'm better off without you and you want to worm your way back into my life?" I asked. "You want to be the cause of my happiness? Leave I'll be happy then"

"Do I mean nothing to you? You were my first and I was yours. We loved each other" 

"Well you obviously didn't think about that when you cheated on me. That was you not me" I pointed at him "You, did that. You were my everything at one point it obviously wasn't reciprocated" I walked closer to him until he was pushed against the wall. "I don't love you anymore"

"You can't say that, you loved me once and you still do" he shook his head"I made a mistake, we were drunk and I didn't know what I was doing." 

"You having sex with someone else isn't a mistake" I spat in his face.

"I was a child, we both were" he put some bass into his voice "What do you want me to say?" this time I backed up into the wall I placed my hand against it to steady myself "That I never loved you and I was using you or that I was stupid? That's a lie and we both know it" his finger was now pointed at me "All I want to do, is have a civil conversation with you about this" he placed his hand above my head on the wall. "Why does it always end in a fight?"

"Why?" I asked looking at him as he inched closer until he pressed his leg against mine "You hurt me so much that I can't even look at you even though I love someone else".

"I feel so guilty, and shitty about what I did."he sighed looking up" Because I loved you so much, because I love you so much" he looked down at me, we were inches apart "You can't look at me because you still love me".