[ COACH ] Mick
[ SONG | ARTIST ] Christmas Song | Owl City
[ WATTPAD WORD COUNT ] 952 wordsThe cold winter snow was brushing past my coat. I could really feel the coldness here by the park, sitting with Joshua here on a cold metallic bench. The light was only coming from the moon. Looking around, the trees and ground were almost color white because of the snow. But we were the only ones here. Maybe others are in their homes, it is Christmas Eve after all.
Everything’s cold; it should mean that it is Christmas. But still, I couldn’t feel the essence. This year is so the opposite of last year.
At the very least, I could say I have Joshua beside me. I turned my gaze towards him, smiling. Here he is beside me. He was closing his eyes. I bet he was feeling the cold scent that the snow brought, just like how I’m doing it. But who am I fooling? He can’t feel anything.
There’s really something here whenever it is snowing, whenever it is Christmas time. I remembered the first time Joshua and I met. I closed my eyes as I reminisced that day. It was just last year, same time, and same place.
I was walking here in the park, trying to find the bench I love sitting on. It was dark, for the light was only coming from the moon. Looking around, I saw nobody’s here.
I used to believe in Christmas, but for my twenty-four years of existence, it made me fall out in believing. It made me lose hope in believing. It was also Christmas two years ago, when my wife and daughter died because of an accident. Now I just wished to God, He would give me someone to hold on.
I closed my eyes, brushing the nightmare off my mind. I don’t want to feel the pain, it is Christmas after all. Although now, Christmas only reminds me that I’m alone, that I have nobody now.
I finally found the bench, but to my surprise, I also found someone sitting on it.
“Hey,” I called to the stranger, sitting beside him. He was only looking down, closed eyes. I guess, I’m not the only one alone here on Christmas Eve.
“Why are you here?” he asked, still not looking.
“Well, I want to be alone,” I uttered, relaxing my mind here on the bench. I just looked straight, trying to think of nothing. I got my hands and cupped my face, coldness was surrounding everything.
“Me too,” he answered.
After how many minutes, we were just like that. Somehow, it was comforting. Now we knew that we have the both of us. In a way, we reminded each other we were not alone, we still have somebody. Even though, he’s a stranger.
“I’m Joshua, by the way,” he said, now gazing at me.
I diverted my gaze at him too and smiled slyly. “Lance.”
“I know this is weird, but,” he paused, trying to give off a smile, “can I celebrate my Christmas with you?”
I was surprised, not by his question, but by how my heart reacted. We were looking in each other’s eyes, getting lost. There was a spark of optimism in our eyes. Suddenly, I couldn’t hear anything, just the beating of my heart.
And that moment, I knew my Christmas Eve this year was right; it was different.
“Yeah.” I breathe out.
We just smiled at each other, knowing we were not alone.
I felt tears as I opened my eyes. I was looking at the stars above, trying to prevent my tears from falling. There was a clinging pain in my chest, it was weakening me now. Since the day we met, we kept seeing each other every day here.
I looked at Joshua here on my side, tears erupted form my eyes. My mouth was shaking. Here he was, looking peacefully asleep. I wished he would open his eyes, but who am I fooling? I will never hear his talks again. I will never see his smiles and his eyes beaming again.
I caressed his cheek, feeling the coldness of it. He looked really pale, adding up the snowflakes that was falling from above. Here he was, dead.
The person who gave me hope again is dead, but the hope he gave me was still there.
I remembered there was a day at mid-November, I found him here. He was sitting motionless here on the bench, holding a note. I suddenly got the same note in my pocket and read it again. It said:
Lance,
Thank you. Please this coming Christmas, I still want to celebrate with you. For the past year, I’m thanking you deeply because you were there for me. Just be reminded that I’m still here for you. Just leave me here in the park, please.
I want to end my suffering alone. Depression’s killing me for the past two years. Also . . . do you know the most difficult part? I think, I like you. I know, you’re laughing now. I mean, we’re both guys! But . . . I guess I do like you. I know it is stupid to tell you this here, but I just want you to know it is real.
Don’t lose hope, for me.
Thank you again,
Joshua
At first, of course, I panicked. I was sitting beside a dead person, but I followed what he said. It was his wish – to celebrate Christmas with me again. At least, I wasn’t alone. But I wanted to tell him I feel the same. I like him too. I know, it may be absurd because we’re both guys.
At the very least, on this day as the clock strikes twelve, even if everybody I love is dead, I still have the one thing I can hold on – hope.