I realized, I love her (Declamation)

Standing in front of the coffin             

               She is my mother, she loves me more than her life. I love her too, but because of me she died. I would never forget what happened that night just because of my immaturity. Do you want to know what happened that night?

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I'm not afraid of anybody, only God.                                                                        

You don't get it?

I'm not afraid of anybody, even my parents

Only God, for i know he's always right; i know he understands me and i know He loves me

But my parents, my family? I don't know and I don't even care.

Some would think, "What kind of daughter I am." Some would say, "I have no respect." And I would say, "You don't have the right to judge me. You don't know a thing about how i feel, the depressions i've been through."

Everybody thought, i rebelled against them. What do you think, is it true? 

No, i'm not rebelling against them. I'm just angry, i'm mad at them.

Do you want to know how mad I am?

One day, i went home tired and sweating body. I was about to go to bed early to rest when my stepfather called me, "Hey, where is that task i gave you where are the payments?" He shouted          

"I'm sorry I forgot, promise next time." I said.

"What? I said do it now! I need it now! What the! Stupid!" He shouted

"Thanks for asking me my beloved father." I said sarcastically when he already went out.

Seriously? Is that a kind of a good father? 

After that i went to kitchen to drink cold water when i saw my mother eating salad.

"Oh, finally you're here. Do the laundry." She commanded with authority

"Mom i'm tired I can't do it now. I'll go upstairs." I said irritably

"Wait, you're tired? Me, aren't you going to ask me if i'm tired? She complained.

"Okay leave it there, I'll do it tomorrow." I said

"Never mind! You're really lazy." She said

See? no one loves me. I was born to be forsaken. I don't have friends I never had a boyfriend to care for me and I have only God, the last chance i could hold on to.

I never try to reach out to my parents, they'll just laugh at me i'm sure. I can live without them, in fact my life would be better without them i can do whatever i want.

But the day had come, I can't resist it anymore.

One day I confronted my mother, it happened when she asked me take the kettle with boiling water back to the stove.

 "Ahhhhh, my hand Ouch! hooooohooooo." I shouted, my hand hurts.

"O my God. What's that? what happened? My mother exclaimed.

"My hand hurts." I said tearfully

" What are you? Can't you see it's a boiling water? Are your eyes closed? Stupid!" She said coldly

I can't take it anymore i could explode anytime.

"Your my mother, you could have asked if i was hurt. Not this." I already cried

"A real mother can't do that. But you did." I ran outside crying so badly. I can't live this life any longer.

"Michelle, come back here." My mother shouted.

"No. i won't." I said without looking back.

Suddenly, i heard a loud sound of a brake. Someone shouted my name.

"Micheeeeeeelle." Someone pushed me.

"Moooooooom!" I shouted and ran fast to save her.

"Mooom, Mom wa-wake up I'm so sor-sorry Mooom I'm sorry." I cried

"N-no. honey I sh-should be the one to sa-say sorry Mi-michelle. I wasn't a good mother to-to you, i forsake yo-you." She tried to talk.

"No mom I-i'm so-sorry i wasn't a go-good daughter to you." I said with mixed emotions.

"Shhhh. honey be good. I'll be here watching over you. I-i love yo-you." She started to say those words that broke my heart.

"No, mom n-no wake u-up wake u-up moooom we cou-could start over again Mooom wake up ple-please i'm begging you ple-please wake u-up. Mooooooooooom."

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Standing in front of the coffin

               Those were the last words she told me before she died, i felt love with that moment. But here, is my mother lying in her coffin. No more chances to see her, no more chances to start over again; and no more chances to say: I love you to Mom.