Awkward Beyond Reason

Prologue

The hallways back then were dark and cold. No slippers for the likes of us, I would put on my socks when I wandered downstairs to the boiler room, I think for the first time I thought myself brave enough to be out of bed after hours, where it was well-known to be the warmest spot in the entire building.

Then, upon discovering the door was firmly locked, even with the aid of a hairpin, ventured next door, to the caretaker's office, which wasn't as firmly locked.

'Little girls should be in bed at this hour.'

'Miss Maplethorpe says I'm nothing more than a nasty guttersnipe.'

'Miss Maplethorpe.' The caretaker snorts under his breath. 'Such a cheerless woman that ever walked this earth. Such a woman should not be passing judgment on anyone.'

He turns back from the high wooden bench and the object he was working on, a mess of wires, from what I could see from the doorway.

'Come in, shut the door. The light is spilling out.'

I quickly do so, thrilled to be allowed to stay here where it is warm. And at the age of 10, I was thrilled to be welcomed.

'Come and sit up here.' He pulls out another high chair from under the bench. If the light had been better, or I had been more observant at the time, I would have seen that there hadn't been a chair there before at all.

'I'm not sure I could reach.'

'You can. Take a good grip of the edge of the bench here' - he pats the part he means, 'and the chair here. It's important to balance your weight so you don't fall.'

Once seated I can see the wires, pieces of them, all around four centimetres in length, crisscrossing each other and forming a pattern - more of a shape.

'Do you like it?'

'What do they do?'

'It's a form of armour.'

'But there are gaps.'

'Have you ever seen chainmail? That too, has many gaps but it still did a sterling job in protecting those valiant knights.'

'So, this is your chainmail?'

'No, not for me. I'm much too old to be a knight.'

I can see amongst the 'armour' there are loose pieces. 'Can I help?' Though as I say the words, I'm not sure how I would. I can't see any glue or even a source of heat that doesn't come from the boiler next door.

'I'm not sure. The metal itself is very sensitive, and crumbles under too much pressure.'

That doesn't sound like very good armour, but I keep that thought to myself.

'Let us see how it will respond to you. Hold out your hand and keep it completely flat. Palm facing up.'

I hold out my hand, eerily reminiscent of the times when they used the cane on wayward residents. There are a few marks on mine, old ones - mostly.

'Flatter, please. It is very sensitive.'

'Is it alive?'

He smiles, his face crinkling in a friendly expression. Now, I think he was pleased I was saying what he wanted to hear.

'It has its own special energy. Keep your hand still.'

He places the piece of metal, as thin as an embroidery needle, on my palm. It's warm to the touch and I hold back a shriek, as it seems to melt - somehow, onto and into my palm.

'How?' I can't keep staring. All that I can see is a small strand of silver on my palm.

'A kindred spirit.' He is barely containing his excitement, as an adult, thinking back, he was practically bouncing in his chair.

As a child, not even knowing what could possibly lay ahead, I had no idea what I had stepped into, all I knew at that moment, was that I was no longer quite so cold.

'So that was a good result?'

'Indeed it was.' He's calmer now but there is still that glint in his eyes that wasn't there before. As an adult looking back, I wonder at my 10-year-old self, why I didn't run for the hills then. I should have.

'I thought you said it might crumble.' I look back at the armour in process, seems quite solid from what I can see but I don't dare touch it.

'I did, but with you, it melted and became part of you. That is a sign of trust and a recognition of a similar indomitable spirit. So yes, you can help. I'll arrange the pieces here,' he gestures to the armour in process, 'and you can hand a piece to me, one at a time.'

I look at my right palm and the piece is still there, shining a little in the light on his desk.

'This one is the only one that will melt. The others will leave you be.'

X

We had an enjoyable time of it before he checked the time and told me I had better go to bed now.

'Sleep well.'

'Thank you.'