"How did we get here? I really thought I was over you this time," He asked, lips wobbling and eyes shiny with unshed tears.
"I looked up and met your eyes from across the room and as cheesy as it sounds, you had this vulnerable thing about your eyes and they pulled me towards you. I couldn't look away and I didn't think you wanted me to leave you alone," the younger responded, running his fingers along the elder's smooth back.
"I couldn't look away. I don't know what it is about you particularly.....it-... it was supposed to be easy this time around with you gone...," the elder murmured, head nestling against the younger's chest.
"We left the party early and I don't even remember what excuse we used to leave. I just know that the moment you took my hand in yours, I didn't want to let go," they both chuckled, reminiscing of the times not so far off in the past.
"It was supposed to be the happiest day of your life and you looked the most miserable. You looked like you were tied together with a fake smile, but you were slowly unravelling, and I - I didn't want to see that kind of expression on your face. You look the most beautiful when you're smiling so wide your dimples are on display,"
"I've been trying my best to move on...for a minute there I thought I had succeeded but if I'm being honest with myself, if its not you, its not the same. My heart can't be right with it. I've been trying so hard to be what everyone expects of me, but I just want you. All I want to do I to hold you...just you," he raised his eyes up to him, holding his gaze, clear hazel eyes, meeting the dark orbs that always seemed to promise him the universe.
"You can't look at me like that babe, you know I can't say no to you when you give me those eyes. Those eyes have got me in more trouble than I care to admit," he said, voice husky with emotion and pulled the older closer to his chest so his head was lying directly above his beating heart.
"I know we can't keep up with this, but when I stare at you naked like this, and we're caught up in this feeling, and I taste your love, I want to believe that in another life, I would be with you, out in the open, not hiding how happy your presence makes me," he said what they both know he shouldn't as it would make this that much harder.
"Don't.....don't do that. We're supposed to be making this easy. You know we have to go back home and fake it. It kills me that you're married and you'll have to lie to her again. I hate that I'm making you into someone we both swore we'll never be. That's why we decided to end this the first time....so we wouldn't be in that position" he didn't mean t sound so heartless about it, but their hearts were bound to break and one of them had to be stronger.
"But......I don't know how to quit you. God knows 've tried. Tell me how to move on from you when yours is the only touch I want to feel for the rest of my life. When you're the first person I want to call about any news I have....when your name is the one always on my lips when I think Love...tell me....how am I going to survive not having you?" They found themselves now lying side by side, looking straight into each other's eyes, hands flying to try to catch the tears that were really never going to dry up. Heart wrenching sobs escaping from trembling lips, his eyes now swelling and nose red, but the younger looked at him like he hung the stars even with snort flowing freely from his nose. They both knew that as soon as they parted, the younger will just as easily break apart. He was always the better of the both of them when it came to holding his tears, but his voice came out hoarse as he murmured sweet nothings to the older. Empty words really at this point, because they both knew the bitter truth.
Knowing that this will probably be the last time they'll ever have a chance like this again, the two lovers wasted no time relearning their bodies for the last time because theirs was a love never meant to see the light of day. The kind of love that was meant to disintegrate in the light, so it was doomed before it began and they knew it.
"Let me make love to you for the last time P, will you let me do that?" the younger asked, already knowing the answer as lips crashed in desperation, then as if both thinking it better to prolong the moment, they slowed their tempo and their lips moved slowly, sensually against each other, tongues dancing to a rhythm only they seemed to hear, hands exploring familiar crevices.
"I love you, so much Kong," he whispered, voice rugged in the throes of passion.
"You're so beautiful...everybody else pales in comparison," his voice sounded shot, as he leaned back on his elbows and proceeded to kiss both eyelids, tongue lapping at the tears that escaped through the closed lids. "Think of this as a beginning of a new chapter babe and be happy that we've met and had our time. We've experienced love like no other and now we have to leave it behind and continue living. I want you to be happy," he paused as the other hiccupped and nodded, "Open your eyes babe," The elder opened his eyes and looked straight into the younger's eyes, leaning up to give him an eskimo kiss before settling back down, "please try to be happy from here on."
"I'll always love you,"
"I know. I love you too. Always," they kissed again, this time with an urgency of two souls trying to imprint the other in their DNA. When they finally joined together, both of them sighed, like it was the first time they've had each other like this. Their rhythm so in synch from the many times they've had this dance. They tried to delay the plateau as none of them wanted the night to end. When they finally came, the older first, his shudders squeezing the essence out of the younger, they stayed like that until they fell asleep in each others arms, words of love the fading into the night around them.
Arthit woke up with his body humming, afraid to turn around and pat the other side of the bed. He stopped a sob in his throat and willed himself to get up and face the rest of his life, without the love of his life because sometimes, life is just shit like that. He let himself believe that in their next life, they'll meet again as two ordinary souls whose only destiny was to complete each other, without familial obligations that strangled his freedom to love.
There was a note on the mirror when he got to the bathroom. He smiled, bittersweet, when he finished reading it, a single tear dropping down his face and he wiped it away and answered the phone that has ben ringing incessantly since he woke up:
Hello-" he croaked out
"Chagi, when are you coming home? We miss you-"
"I'll be there later today,"
An: so this word vomit was written on night shift....no editing or proofreading done. I'm just feeling emo for some reason. So there you have it...there'll be some random onesshots like this one in the future...but most will have a happy note cause I really do like my happy endings and nice girls in my bls💜
