Christmas (W)Rap Complaints

My (W)Rap Song

(Um, I dunno how well this gonna work)

It'll be fine, trust me.

(Last time you said that...)

Just point the camera here

I've lived here most of my life

Despite all the haters tryin' ta strife

It's like “go away I'm tryin' to do somethin' now”

They'll just keep talkin' anyhow

(dude, it's Christmas time)

I'm getting to that, it's hard to make a rhyme!

As Christmas draws near

All the little rich kids sneer

“I'm getting all the new technology this year!”

I just stop and glare because I fear

I'm probably just getting chap-stick again this year

I can't complain to much though

I mean, it can always get worse, yo

I'm getting sick of this holiday

All the stockings and things made of clay

All the effort, all the work

I see more words then a filing clerk!

You put your all into makin' a present

Hopin' maybe they'll find it pleasant

And the only thing you get in return

Is a grunt and stare that is stern

“Where'd ya get this thing? It's horrendous!”

Uh, I spent 5 hours making it you tremendous

Piece of ungrateful-! (whoa, whoa...) Sorry...

(This isn't very cheerful...)

I'm being truthful

But if you want be to be jolly

Deck the halls with balls and holly!

This game is all about timing

Not just about rhyming

Can someone explain this caroling to me?

A group shows up at the door and starts singing off key

All I can do is stand there and think to myself

“How long's this gunna take? I could be cleaning my shelf.”

Time to be nice to the people you can't stand

All year round they're banned

Yet now we have to play nice

and pretend we don't want 'em to slip on ice

I'm getting sick of rappin' slow

I feel it's time to speed my flow

Show ya what I can do

And I'll explain to you

Every time I turn around

People gather 'round

Always buggin' me now

Always complainin' how

“I didn't get what I asked for!

I wanted Jersey shore!”

“I wanted a lap top,

What I got was a flip flop.”

“I asked for leather boots with straps,

I got a pair of chaps!”

“All I wanted was a studded belt

I got a hat made of felt!”

Just shut up! I don't care!

Get out of my hair!

This holiday is more then I can bare!

I think this is the only time of year

Strictly because of magical deer

You can complain about getting stuff

And not get into fist-a-cuffs

What about all the people who didn't get anything

While you complain about you're bling?

And while you whine about a stomach ache

All the food some people ate was fake

Like the Lost Boys in Hook

“Jus believe” take a look

I just don't understand

While you complain about “Garage Band”

There's people with nothing at all

And you jus sit there and bawl

“I wanted a new cell phone!”

That person has no phone!

“I wanted a new Ipad!”

Why? Next year there'll be a new one. Be glad!

(Slow it down some!)

Fine...did you get the new album? (No)

Anyways, I'm almost done

This holiday is suppose to be fun!

Instead everyone whines

As if they'd practiced their lines

I suppose now is a good time to flip the script

Consider the script flipped

So it's Christmas and a new year

The new year to cheer

Just remember before complaining

About the stuff you're gaining

You need to stop and think hard about

All the people full of doubt

Just a message from a small town here

Where nothing happens and winter is shear

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!