My Mistake (a Jackson Felt fanfic)

I Do It For Me

"Ok class, today we'll be doing something a bit different," Mr. Cranston said.

A few weeks had gone by at the school, and we had everything set out for the dance club. We had a studio, we had members, and we had people from other schools joining. The first class was next week already! People were nice to me at school, although it was hard to tell whether it was because they genuinely like me or liked my follower account. Besides a few low grades, everything was going smoothly.

Mr. Cranston was one of my favorite teachers at this school. He was like.....the dad of the school. You needed a cringey joke? Go to Mr. Cranston. You needed a hug? Go to Mr. Cranston. You need advice from someone but didn't know who to go to in your friend group and felt awkward going to the guidance counselor? Go to Mr. Cranston.

His English Lit lessons were fun. We were currently reading "Cartwheel" by Jennifer Dubois. The book was about an American girl named Liley Hayes who is studying abroad in Buenos Aires. Her roommate gets murdered and she's arrested. And this isn't a basic book from one point of view, this book comes from several points of view, including the prosecutors' and Liley's father's.

But what he did today was surprising to me.

"One person will get to ask you a question, and you have to repeat that question to the class, along with answering it. I will pick the person that asks you the question, and you'll have five minutes to think over it before answering. Make the answer short please, we have to get through everyone today if we want to continue the book tomorrow!"

He lists off who will be asking who questions. I'm asking a boy named Noah, and I know he loves photography; so I ask him why he likes photography so much, and if it holds any significance to him.

One of the girls comes up to me, Stella Grosh. I'm pretty sure she's one of the people who doesn't like me much, with the glares I feel coming from her around school. I'm not sure what I did to her, but it's ok; she doesn't have to enjoy me. 

"Candy," she says to me, saying my name like it was her least favorite vegetable; one she was pretending to like. "Why do you even try to impress people on tiktok? It's not like your dancing is that exciting to wacth."

She walks away to let me think, and to be honest, I'm shocked by her question. I use those 5 minutes, rethinking her question, over and over and over. I don't stop thinking as everyone else goes. I don't even hear my name the first time it's called.

"Candy," Mr. Cranston says again, and I snap my head up to see the whole class looking at me.

"Sorry!" I say, an embarrased smile on my face.

I can feel Stella glaring at the back of my head.

"What was your question?" Mr. Cranston asks me.

"I was asked why I tried so hard to impress people on tiktok," I say to Mr. Cranston. "And to be honest, I don't really know how to answer that question. To say that I don't care about my viewers' opinions would be a lie, but I don't think I dance for them, or really try to impress them. Several years ago I went through some stuff, and I found my release in dancing. I've been dancing since I was a todler, you see, and dancing is just.....good. I don't know how else to explain it. Dancing to me is just good. Good for my head and my body. It keeps me in shape and lets me through my emotions into movement. I wanted to share some of that emotion with others, so I started posting them on tiktok, not expecting to go viral. I was doing it for me, and for others to see a form of emotion through movement. I don't really care if people like my dances, what I care about is if they say the emotions in the dance. So no, I don't try to impress people on tiktok, I try to impress myself, and when I impress myself I share that with others. I do it for me."

I look around at my class and give a small smile, sinking into my seat a little bit.

"That was......a very good answer Candy. Truly. I can see that your dancing means a lot to you. And I hope that the stuff you went through is all over now," Mr. Cranston says before moving onto the next person.

Someone behind me taps on my shoulder, and I turn around to be handed a folded piece of paper.

Unravelling it, I read:

That was amaazing Candy. I'm sorry about the stuff that happened to you. I don't know how bad it was, but I'm glad it got you to where you are now.          -Jackson

I look at Jackson and mouth "thankyou", getting a smile and an enthusiastic thumbs up in return.