Espresso Love (SanDhir)

Chapter 1 - Bitter Memories

I woke up in the middle of the night again. It's been four years since she left, but I still couldn't get over it. Every day felt like a year in itself. I just couldn't bring myself to accept the reality, despite it having been so long already.

Following my normal routine, I went to the kitchen to make myself a cup of strong, black coffee.

Every morning, I wake up at 3 - unable to go back to sleep - and make myself coffee. I had now grown accustomed to this odd habit of mine.

I would wake up for the same reason everyday as well. It would start with reminiscing about our moments together, and then end with the dreadful day when she said goodbye. Her last days with me. Her last moments with me. How I wish none of that had happened.

I quickly sipped down the coffee; the bitterness of the coffee would prevent me from thinking about things. Eventually, I would fall back asleep too. Clearly, no amount of caffeine could keep me up after having gotten so accustomed to it.

It was the only way I could stop myself from drowning.

--

"Kaustukii!!" Randhir groaned for the umpteenth time in the past half an hour. "Where is she??"

He was losing his patience now.

"Sanyu said she had to meet someone! She should be back soon!" Kaustuki explained to him again.

"She didn't even reply to any of my texts Kaustuki! You know Farzi always replies! Even if she were busy, she would have let me know!"

Kaustuki sighed in frustration, and just tuned Randhir out. "Only Sanyu can deal with him," she thought to herself and walked away from him.

Randhir went to the library to take his mind off of Sanyukta, but even books could not stop him from worrying at this point.

He kept calling her and checking with Kaustuki every so often, until a couple of hours after when Sanyukta finally came back herself.

Randhir happened to be passing by the gates at that precise moment, and caught a glimpse of her retreating figure. He ran to her as fast as he could, grabbing her shoulders roughly as soon as she was in his reach.

"Randhir leave me," she muttered non-chalantly.

Her behaviour irked him. "What is wrong with you Sanyukta? I've been looking all over the place for you, and here you are, not even bothered enough to give me an answer?"

She shook his hands off of her and replied back with equal volume, "Randhir Shekhawat, there is no reason to worry this much about me. You got that? I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I don't need you to keep a tab on me." She was about to leave, when she turned around abruptly; "And for your information, I have no reason to give you any sort of explanation. So it'll be better if you just mind your own business."

She gave a quick look to the gate before rushing off to the girls' dorm, with no glance to spare towards Randhir.

Randhir stood rooted to his spot. They had come a long way in their relationship. He would always behave this way when she didn't reply to his messages. He worried too much about anything related to her. Then what was wrong today?

--

Maybe that was supposed to be a hint for me to figure out what was going on. Maybe I could have done something to stop her from leaving. Maybe, just maybe, she could have been beside me right now.

I threw the blanket aside, leaving my body exposed to the cold air that chilled my bones to the core. I missed her presence. I missed her warmth. I missed everything about her. The way she smiled. The way she spoke. The way she fought with me over every single thing.

I missed our memories.

All that was left now were bitter memories of that one dreadful night.

And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't seem to move on from it, let alone being able to forget it.

I closed my eyes, clenching them shut to erase the memories that were being painted in front of them. Clutching the pillow to my face, I waited for sleep to evade me.