Impossible!

Christmas

So apparently we had our Christmas party 2 days ago. 

Of course, I prepared gifts for my best friends, and all the others. My gift for them was a simple ballpen with a cute design, and along with it was a personal letter. 

I gave Carlos, Jade, and a few of my close friends. 

However, this year, I told myself that since it's a personal letter, it's okay that I could put some things that I wanted to admit to them for a long time, and I decided that I should put in Jade's letter that I liked her brother for the whole time.

Few hours later during that day, Jade visited my classroom and said "I need to talk to you.", which actually scared me, because I bet she wasn't satisfied with what  I admitted and wrote on her letter...

and apparently, she seemed to be not pretty satisfied. FUDGE!

"All this time? I thought it was a joke!" Jade said, but not in a disappointed way.

"Y-yeah..." I said softly. "I don't really know why, but... yeah."

 After that, it was really awkward and Jade was like just there standing and me on the other hand felt extremely awkward and in my mind, I kept repeating all over again the sentence "I thought it was a joke!" 

To be honest, that hit me really hard. To her, everything was just a joke. I thought for some reason she really shipped us! Paired us! And for all this time, it was a huge joke for her? It was like a big hit on my chest.

But, I just put the pain aside. And anyway, the feelings were pretty much gone now. I don't feel extremely excited about "him" anymore. He didn't make my heart beat extremely fast anymore. It was totally gone. 

From that day, I moved on--and I did. I still had those feelings, but those feelings were what I felt towards good looking people, or should I say, infatuation. 

I moved on, and now, I'll be focusing on my "girl problems". And you know what I mean by that?

2 girls having a deep crush on me. Yes, my love triangle now!

Oh wait, I didn't get to tell you yet. There's another girl who admitted (via my friends) that she had a deep crush on me like Nicole. I just found out about it during our Christmas Party too. She even got a picture with me, but however she ran away after that. Her name was Maria, by the way.

They say that she really had a huge crush on me, and according to my friend, Maria told her that she really, really, really liked me. Also, I never expected her to like me. ALSO, before Carlos showed me their conversation (before I knew about her crush on me) and it said there that she thinks I'm cute, etc, but I never expected her to like me that much! 

Basically, I have moved on with "him" and currently have a love triangle. Also, Carlos is heart broken-- again.