Look at the Stars

Prologue

"Fire me if you want" I sighed and pouted to Michael, my manager.

"Ayokong makasama sa iisang lugar yan tapos iisang hangin pa sisinghutin namin"

Sa dami ba naman kasing successful Filipinos, bakit si Atlas pa yung makakasama ko sa interview mamaya!

"Hoy Calista, akala ko ba naka move on ka na? Anong inaarte mo diyan?" pagbubunganga sakin ni Lizzy pagkapasok niya ng dressing room, palibhasa kaya ko lang naman tinanggap to dahil sakanya no?

"Liz, first of all may karapatan akong mag inarte dahil maganda ako, second, yung lalaking makakatabi ko mamaya, ay yung ex kong harap harapang nakipagsex sa iba noong 20th birthday ko, pangatlo hindi mo naman ako babayaran dito!"

Well, I am a supermodel now. Kilala na ko  sa industriya ng pagmomodelo. 

I went straight here pagkauwi ko ng Pilipinas because of Lizzy's invitation na mag guest ako sa show niya. Sikat na rin kasi siya, being an actress, then she just pursued her dream of becoming a host in a show, we just idolized Ellen DeGeneres before, tapos naging pangarap niya na.

"Girl, babayaran kita pero sa charity mapupunta!" maarte pero natatawang sabi niya

"Paladesisyon" bulong ko, pero yun din naman ang gusto kong mangyari.

___

Kabado ako, dahil ilang oras nalang magkikita na kami ulit. Adryan Aziel Atlas, ano kayang magiging reaksyon mo after 7 years of not seeing each other?

Will you still be wearing your guilty face? The one that you wear 7 years ago.

"A supermodel known worldwide for modelling top luxury brands, Let's  now welcome, Cali Anderson !" and I walked with a smile on my face while waving my hand. 

The studio was filled with noises coming from the fans. I sat gracefully and properly while still smiling and waving dahil hindi matapos tapos ang pagsigaw ng fans ko, well it really warms my heart lalo na kapag kapwa pinoy yung sumusuporta sayo.

"This morning is full of surprises, syempre hindi naman pwedeng isa lang ang guest natin diba? It's Tuesday and that means?" Liz enthusiastically said

"TWOsday" the crowd shouted in unison

"Let's now welcome, a successful doctor from states and known as the handsome viral doctor who loves to volunteer, Doctor Adryan Aziel Atlas!" 

Her announcement filled the studio with much more noise. I can see how the crowd of girls shouting his name na akala mo ay iiyak na, mahilig talaga siya mag paiyak.

I just forced myself na tumingin sakanya habang naglalakad papunta sa tabi ko and I did fake a clap. 

"Thank you for inviting me" he smiled

A genuine smile, how could he?  How can he be this happy? How can he be this calm?

Habang ako, iniiwasan tumingin sakanya, pinepeke ang ngiti ko para matakpan ang tunay na kaba at sakit na nararamdaman ko. Fuck, hindi pa pala tapos.

"Did you know guys? Three of us attended the same university on college!" Liz said and that made the crowd filled with "oh"

"We are seatmates" I said smiling, hindi pwedeng siya lang ang kalmado, hindi pwedeng siya lang ang mukhang nakalimot, well I can fake it.

I can see his brows arched and amused smile, siguro hindi niya inexpect na sasabihin ko yon

"Not just seatmates" at doon ako natalo, hindi ako nakapagsalita agad sa sinabi niya

"OMG, so hindi lang pala seatmates?" tanong ni Liz na may nakakalokong ngiti

"Yeah, we used to volunteer din before and that's just it" I said faking my smile and trying to convince the crowd

"That's just it then" makahulugang sabi ni Aziel. 

Hindi pwedeng makaligtas sa mga tao ang tono ng boses niya, masyadong halata! Wala akong balak balikan ang mga alaala noong college ako, masyado silang masakit at deserve na ang pagkalimot doon.

Natapos na ang show, umikot lang ang interview about how Atlas volunteered in poor remote areas of the Philippines as a doctor and when it started, they also talked about his viral pictures and his viral name as "Perfect Doc" 

We also talked about how I started to dream of becoming a model and my journey about it. I can see how amused Atlas while listening to my story, well anyone will be, it is not an easy journey, I experienced worst scenarios.

The interview went well, it is like a catch up between us. Sa tagal ng panahon, kita mo sakanya na para bang nakalimot na siya, parang tinanggap nalang ang pagkalaho ko dahil sa kasalanan niya. Kung gaano kagaan yung mukha niya, ganoon kabigat yung nararamdaman ko.

Ako nalang pala ang hindi makaalis sa pait ng nakaraan.

We both achieved our dreams, we really became a stars in our field we once dreamt.

"Ivy"

His soft voice, the way he calls my name, the only one who is allowed to call me in that name, tangina bumalik nanaman lahat oh.

Hindi ako lumingon, kasi alam kong matatalo ako, hindi ko napaghandaan to

"Ivy wait" hinawakan niya ang braso ko para mapatigil sa paglakad ko, walang masyadong tao sa parking lot na to, wala ring masyadong sasakyan ang nakapark sa VIP floor na to, kaya bakit magkatabi ang sasakyan naming dalawa?

Lumingon ako, I tried to look bored na para makita niyang wala akong panahon sakanya. Napabitaw siya siguro dahil nagets niya na ayoko ng hawak niya.

I arched my brow as signal na sabihing naghihintay ako sa sasabihin niya. He looked into my eyes. 

I saw his eyes full of emotions, hindi niya matago iyon dahil sa titig kong madilim sakanya. Galit ako but I managed to look bored.

"Im, sorry. I did not do it and... uhm, I'm proud of you" he said, parang sinummarize niya lang ang gusto niyang sabihin. Damn dude, after 5 years of moving on yan lang pala isasalubong niya sakin.

"I did not ask. I don't care. I don't believe you." I answered also in that way. Sana closure na to.

Umalis na ko, sa parking lot na yun, kasabay ng pag labas ko sa building ang pag agos ng luha ko, galit ako, gaganti ako.