2014 and Unloving

Chapter 1: Childish

My name is Jessica and my boyfriend's name is Zach. I'm with him tonight at our family friend's debut and it makes me wanna scream for bringing him with my family, it's always a great idea for me to bring him with them. My older sister's name is Vicky and she's always been so tight with Zach, I can't even imagine how miserable it would be for me if Vicky's reliance with Zach will just vanish. So we we're sitting with my parents in one table as the event goes on, Vicky asked me and Zach to go with her at the mobil bar to get something to drink.

Vicky: "Hey come with me at the mobil bar let's get something to drink."

Jessica: "Let's? So does it mean that I'll drink too?"

Zach: "I think Vicky's allowing you."

Jessica: "She's not mommy. I'll ask mom first."

Vicky: "You don't need to. You're with us."

Zach: "Vicky's right. I'm sure your mom's gonna allow you anyway."

So as we get our drinks at the mobil bar I wasn't really sure if I can drink cause I haven't drink in a while and it petrifies me that I might puke or something but, they made me drink anyway. After a long night we went home straight and so as Zach.

It's Valentines day and as a gift, Zach gave me a puppy that I've always been dreaming of. Zach never fails to make me grin and I'm so thankful I have him, so I hugged him to the highest possible extent and I know with that, I can make him feel how grateful I was at that moment. We named the puppy "Bolt" because honestly speaking it really looks like the dog in the movie "Bolt", and the only thing that's missing is the lightning bolt mark, I know it really is funny naming your puppy after a movie character. The first week of our puppy was really arduous for a reason that it gets sick ofttimes and it terrifies me that it might just pass away or something so it requires much foundation and money and it's really hard for us cause we're both high school students. Then suddenly things get really confusing to the point where we exchange blows ofttimes and I'm loosing interest in him but it still scares me that I might lose him. Days go by and still we fight ofttimes so swiftly my feelings for Zach is slowly fading but I know I can't afford losing him, we both forgive each other everytime we brawl about nonsense stuffs. But still, why do I feel this way? Why do I feel like I don't wanna be with him. I just let things do it's thing, I'm just doing my part as a girlfriend and so as Zach, he surprised me with tickets for music festival I wanna go into. And it's like nothing's new so I thank him again.

Jessica: "Thank you baby. I love you, you made me the happiest girl!"

Zach: "Anything for you baby, I love you."

Yes, just like that nothing more nothing less. Who wouldn't get sick of that? But still I appreciate Zach and every single thing he does for me, but I don't understand why I feel like I'm losing my interest for him.

It's Zach's birthday and I asked Marisse,Vicky and her girlfriend's help with my surprise for Zach. So I asked for their housekeeper's support and we successfully made the surprise and I'm glad that Zach liked it, it wasn't really hard for me though.

After surprising him, we went home immediately so I can prepare for the music festival that we're going to. Before entering the venue I got really pissed off because he keeps on talking about this girl that he'll be meeting inside, I kept my mouth shut, for him not to notice that I'm anxious about it. We met his best friend Adam and his bestfriend's girlfriend Kelly, the event was full of surprises and they have diffrent booths so everyone can enjoy the night. It was fun, really fun being with them but while we're raving suddenly this girl appears and hugged Zach, so guess what? I felt more anxious and I feel like my entire night was ruined because of this girl but still I didn't tell Zach about how I feel, the jelousy? I just felt disrespected cause when Zach introduced me to the girl she just faked a smile on me and said "Hi" then she annoyingly continued speaking to my boyfriend, who wouldn't get pissed? She acts like she's flirting with my guy in front of me, but what can I do? I can't ruin Zach's night just because of how I feel, so I let go of everything and acted like I'm actually fine, maybe that's what I did wrong.

So finally they stopped talking and the girl goes somewhere I don't know, I smiled at Zach and kissed him like I wasn't affected about it. Suddenly, people started splashing water everywhere so we tried looking for water guns and water. Luckily we found one and I asked him to put cola in it just for fun, I don't really know what's in my mind at the moment maybe I just really wanna have fun and do pranks so I forced Zach about my idea. He didn't really wanna do it cause we might start a fight or something so he told ne not to do it, but I'm too spoiled and childish at the moment so I did what I want, I put cola in the water gun and I told Zach about it so he grabbed the water gun, pointed it at the grass and splashed the water there. I got pissed again for the third time and at that moment I can't control my irritation, I know it's childish but that's how I feel. So I kept quiet and sat down while he was completely happy with the loud music that's playing he asked me to stand up and have fun with him but I wasn't in the mood anymore, I'm nothing compared to a child who loses interest to a toy. So Zach got pissed, he asked for me to stand up and go home with him and I did. That's random and stupid that he got pissed about that but maybe we're just not in the same page anymore so as soon as we got into their house he told me to stay for a while so we could talk about it but I insisted that I wanna go home, he asked me another time but I got more irritated and shouted at him that I don't wanna stay. He sent me home.

Zach: "Baby, really what's wrong?"

Jessica: "I'm tired."

Zach: "No, I know you. Something's wrong please tell me what's wrong. I wanna know what's the problem. Please Jessica tell me."

I didn't speak after he told me that. Maybe I'm just really tired and upset of things, so as I go inside the house, I called him and told him that I wanna break up with him. He didn't want to, but I insisted.

Jessica: "I'm tired of understanding you and your stupid attitude. I wanna break up with you that's all!"

Zach: "Baby no you're not gonna break up with me. We will fix this. Whatever I did wrong I'm sorry and I'll never do it again I swear."

Jessica: "We're over Zach. I'm done with you and I can't stay any longer. You're a jerk!"

Zach: "You're not breaking up with me. I'm not gonna let you break up with me. I'll go back and let's talk about this."

Jessica: "If you don't break up with me, I'll leave the house and never come back. Choose Zach! I'll break up with you or I'll leave this fucking house right now!"

Zach: "Please don't do this baby. I can't afford losing you, you mean the world to me please don't do this."

Jessica: "Fine. You're not gonna break up with me? Okay, I'm easy to talk to. Bye!"

I left the house wearing a dress and I was covered with Zach's red polo long sleeves. I didn't know what's in my mind at that moment but I didn't stop from walking away, Zach didn't stop calling and texting me until I answer his call.

Zach: "Fine. I'll break up with you. Go home now!"

Jessica: "I won't go home. I wanna stay outside. You're a liar, you're not breaking up with me you just want me to go home!"

As I refused going home, Zach asked me where I was so he could follow me. I didn't tell him where I was cause I want to be alone. As I walked alone without any destination to go, suddenly I remember my friend who lives in Russia street named Geneva so I called her and told her I was going to her place cause I need someone to talk to. I was with her for a couple of hours and finally I decided to go home but still I can feel the rage in my veins that if I ever talked to him again I'd feel more upset, so I didn't talk to him for a couple of days even if he keeps on texting and calling me. He never gets tired of greeting me in the morning and he never fogets sending me good night texts that says "I love you" and "I miss you". Sometimes I feel like I wanna call him back already but I just can't maybe I'm just not ready enough to talk to him again.