Can We Pretend // Billie Eilish

chapter one

I'm not sure what it was that finally brought me over the edge. Maybe it was the little moans that invaded my ears, eventually turning into groans. Maybe it was the feeling of the heavy weight on top of me, holding me down so I couldn't move. Maybe it was the thrust of her hips that quickly became more brutal as we both started to loose control.

Whatever it was, I was left panting for breath afterwards. We fell on our backs besides each other on the bed, with her taking off the strap-on along with the vibrator attached to it before throwing it to the side.

Together we lay there, trying to catch our breaths in the small bedroom. Even though we were both looking up to the ceiling, the tear that slid down my cheek didn't go unnoticed.

"Shit are you crying again?" The girl besides me propped herself up on her elbow.

I shook my head, "No, it was just really good."

With a smug look on her face Billie laid back down.

Even though we'd had been hooking up for a few months, we never got bored of each other. More specifically, of each others bodies. I met Billie at a party that ended with us fucking each other's brains out in the guest room. At first, I hadn't even realized who I was with. It was only the morning after that I got out of bed and found out I had just slept with a rising singer - one whose name the whole world knew.

After that, we had reached an agreement - we would call each other and meet up whenever we wanted, no strings or feelings involved. I was told not to expect any money or gifts from her either. Billie had been adamant that I wasn't with her just for her money or fame, and I was okay with that. I didn't want to be hounded by paparazzi wherever I went, and we managed to understand each others needs and wants in such a fulfilling way that I just couldn't say no to.

"I've got to get home," Billie said as she got out of bed and started putting her clothes on.

I hummed in acknowledgement. I closed my eyes shut in order to rest them, but they quickly flew open when Billie grabbed my chin and leaned over to give me a bruising kiss. "Just one for the road." She said with smirk.

I watched as Billie stood up and began putting her clothes back on, tucking her hair under her hood and slipping on a pair of sunglasses. Whenever she left the house she always made sure to disguise her bright hair so no one outside would recognize her. If anyone realized who she was and why she was here, every celebrity news outlet in LA would have a field day. But Billie still risked it, and my heart fluttered at the thought.

I pulled a blanket over my chest to cover myself just as Billie gave me one last glance before heading towards the front door.

I had to squeeze my legs together to stop the ache that came from just that one glance; even though we'd spent hours together in bed, Billie never failed to make me horny with just the simplest of actions. Maybe it was something in the way she moved, with such power and ease. Or perhaps it was the icy look in her eyes, a hint of fire brimming just beneath the surface. But maybe, just maybe, I had fallen victim to Billie's allure - and that kind of temptation I couldn't escape even if I wanted to.

With the sound of the front door closing echoing throughout my apartment, I decided to get up and get ready for work. Even though I was getting my degree in psychology online, I had to work part-time to cover the costs. I had no other option, especially since my parents had stopped talking to me once I came out after high school. Maybe that's what made me so desperate to be around Billie, because despite reassurances from my old friends that they would keep in touch once I had moved to LA, all had eventually drifted apart, leaving me alone not just physically but emotionally as well.

The fleeting feeling of content that came from being around Billie was now gone, replaced with the anxiety of needing to study for my upcoming tests and get to work. I got dressed and headed out to my car, making sure to use makeup to hide the dark circles under my eyes - along with the hickeys Billie had conveniently left on my neck.

"Dammit." I sighed as I pulled up to the restaurant where I worked, just now realizing I'd left my phone at home. This was going to be a long shift.

As I entered from the employee entrance and put on my apron, I was greeted by Jay.

"Hey, I tried calling you earlier to see if you wanted to hang out but," he said while putting away a few dry plates, "you didn't pick up."

I went over to the computer to clock in. "I know, I'm sorry but I had someone over and I completely forgot to to check my phone."

He nodded in understanding. "You can take the tables by the entrance, I've got the others covered." I smiled at him and got to work. It was usually just the two of us working at the small joint, but the comfort of having each others company made the extra work worth it. Since I had moved here, Jay had been the only person I could actually talk to. He understood my struggles as a broke college student, having grown up in one of the poorer neighborhoods of LA himself. Between my work online and the restaurant, I hadn't had the opportunity to meet a lot of other people either.

I grabbed a notepad and pen, making her way over to a family of four that had just come on. "Hi, my name is Alvina and I'll be your server today. What can I get you?"

I HOPE YOU ENJOY READING THIS BOOK AS MUCH AS I ENJOY WRITING IT ♥️