I want to go home...
That's how I feel. I'm not home sick... I can't be, because... I'm at home right now. Laying in my bed, in my house, that's in the town that I've lived in all my life. But...
I want to go home.
I don't understand. It's a new feeling. It appeared this evening, as I crawled into bed. I've never had it before but somehow, I know how to describe it. I feel like...
I want to go home.
Am I missing something? Maybe, someone? I don't know. I'm not particularly scared, just confused. Who or what am I missing? A home? No... I got that. Its where I am right now. A home. It's a home... but not... home.
I looked to the clock besides my bed. I tilted my head a bit and frowned. It was 4 am. I sighed and sat up, looking around my dark room. Moon light shined through the window, piercing the darkness with force and lighting my room up in a cold white light.
I shuffled out of bed and walked out into the bathroom. I had to be at school at 7:30 am so I had plenty of time to get ready. I hadn't slept all night. I could probably get an hour of sleep if I was lucky, but I wouldn't risk it.
I turned on the shower and let it heat while I looked at myself in the mirror. I squinted, not having bothered to turn the lights on. It was dark in the bathroom, but I had lived here for seventeen years now and I could find my way around the entire house blindfolded if I wanted to.
I undressed and stepped into the shower. I closed my eyes and let the water wash over all the thoughts and memories for a bit.
The lights were suddenly turned on, making me shut my eyes tighter before blinking, opening them a bit. I squinted out through the foggy glass, over to the door.
"you're up early sweetie" My mom mumbled. She sounded tired, slightly worried.
"yeah..." I answered.
A silence fell over the bathroom, just calm, the running water from the shower the only thing filling the silence. Like a sort of static background noise.
"I'll head back to bed" Mom said. "I'll see you later" She walked out, letting the lights be on. I blinked, looking at the door.
I sighed, a sudden wave of dread pooling at my stomach. I didn't know why. I just felt... sad. Like I wanted to cry... sob and scream. Probably because I'm tired.
I stood there pretty much frozen, like a statue. I'm not sure if I cried since the water running down over my face masked any tears that might've been there. I wasn't bothered to wonder over it. I had nothing to be sad about. I was happy, so why do I want to cry? No, I felt... like crying, I didn't want to cry. I feel like...
I want to go home.
I'm probably just tired.
