The bottomless

Best friend

When mental illness hugs me
Like a best friend
I read
And write
Every night
So i know
That i exist..
Convincing myself
"You are blood and flesh
And every word you bleed
Is nothing but the feeling
You saw or see."
I am not prepared
For any of the beasts,
Non of these words
I am able to receive,
But i must be still..
In the frigidity and desire
And honey of love bees
There is nothing more important
Than your personal dreams.
"Keep it quiet "
Naively i repeat
As if all mu thoughts
Never deserved to be heard.
The best i can get
Is the best of green,
And yet i struggle
Tangled in my own misery.
"Roses aren't at the other side",
I whisper to myself
But i pack my begs
Every time i may feel bad.
Never letting myself
Let go
Of my very best friend,
There is no promised
Happy end.