If I don't want to - S.M.

20 | A Day Like This

Shawn

The familiar sound coming from my phone pulled me away from the sleep cycle. It felt like a hundred needles are pricking my eyeballs and a thick rope is strangling my muscles. I hope I could lay down for a little longer, but a day like this doesn't come often in my life. Despite the crazy distance and the number of places I jump from one to another, exploring the land I'm performing on is a rare occasion. And today is that day, so I'm not going to waste it.

I gathered my will to push my back off the plump bed and to do the hardest part of mornings—tearing the warmness away from my feet. A chill spreads throughout my body as my feet touch the ice-cold ground. And it sure does the trick to make my bloodshot eyes open wide.

The walk to the gym was not long, and I met a couple of hotel staff walking around, tackling the tasks of their busy morning, but still slip one-two seconds of their time to send their best smile to the visitors. Act of kindness between the busyness sends warmth to my heart.

A familiar figure is already in the gym when I arrive. "Wow, you're even earlier? Seems like the jet lag didn't bother you a bit," I said as I dropped my duffle bag to start warming up the muscles.

"Superpower you got from having a baby, wake up any time," he shrugged, and a big grin plastered on his face. He already misses his 13-hours away baby girl since the first second they partway.

The morning passed rather fast, or maybe I was excited to meet the white sand and blue ocean. I got my workout ticked off the list, finished washing and packing, and finally had breakfast with my sisters and the team.

Now we're sitting on a 7 seater car and heading to the long-missed tropical side of the world. The humid salty breeze and the sound of the wave crashes to the corals, oh yeah who doesn't miss it. But as much as I'm excited to be on a beach again after a long time, somehow another part of my mind is playing a thousand of ways of how I'm going to mess up this beach trip. It's like watching the movie Edge of Tomorrow, but instead of a cycle where Tom Cruise wakes up, try and learn a new move to not get killed, get killed, wake up again and eventually succeed; it's me waking up, try and implement a new move to not embarrassed myself in front of Agnes and the team, embarrassed myself, get buried under the sand, wake up again, redo the whole thing and never succeed.

"Something's on your mind?" Andrew said halting the spiral of my thought abruptly.

"No, yeah, I mean I'm excited to be on a beach again."

"Uh, uh," his index finger moving right to left, "your frown and confused gaze are telling me the opposite," he said seeing right through me like an open book.

I should've known that I could never lie to this guy, moreover, he's now a husband and a father. He has learned a lot about reading faces and the thought reeling behind it.

"It's going to be fine, Shawn. You're just overthinking,"

I bet he's just shot that sentence without knowing what's on my mind, as I always overthink everything.

"You're not gonna mess up the trip and embarrassed your ass in front of Agnes. Well, even if there's a chance of you're going into panic mode and do silly things, girls love it when you act all nervous and stupid on the first meet, indicating you're really into this. So relax your shoulders and take a breath. It's going to be just okay," he said shrugging his shoulder.

No words are coming out my mouth hearing Andrew's advice. It's just my eyes went wide staring at Andrew, doesn't expect his mind-reading skill has developed to that high level.

"You're welcome," Andrew said with a chuckle and a few taps on my shoulders, knowing that I'm to shock to reply to him. But, he knows I'm grateful for him.

I don't realize the time is ticking so fast that now I can already see the blue water pictured between the gap of the lining trees. Andrew who sits on the closer side to the beach rolls down the window and lets cold air inside the car exchanged with the salty breeze from the sea. And, for a moment it takes away the weight off my shoulders.

"Are you ready to get some sexy tan line, everybody!" Brian shout as soon as he jumps off the car beside ours, triggering laugh from every member who's seen his silliness along the tour.

Not long after, something caught my eyes, pulling my eyes away from Brian. A girl is standing on the spot where Brian was shouting. She has a rather small figure and a loose t-shirt hanging down her shoulders covering the beach suit. She has just got off the same car Brian walked out from and waving her hands to me.

"Hi!" she said with a bright smile plastered on her lips.

"Hey, Agnes. Ready to go meet some beach waves?" I said mentally slapping myself.

"Yeah," she said with a big grin before she runs to the other team members.

I stood there, getting myself together on what's happening before.

Shit- this is really happening NOW.

~

As childish as it seems, Brian, Connor and I were playing with sand after we decided not to stay too long in the water. Connor piled up the sand on top of my body and Brian added some water to it, so the materials hardened and made it harder for me to get up. Andrew was sitting a couple of feet behind my head, smiling and watching us play like a dad with three 10-year-old-boys. My feet and waist were tugged under the sand blanket when we heard a scream coming from the coral area.

"Man, I think someone is hurt," a panic wash over Brian's face that was bright a second ago.

"Shit," Andrew said before he got up as fast as he could and run towards the source.

I told Connor and Brian to help me move the sand away and join Andrew who's halfway there.

"What happened?" I asked Hannah–a member of our stage crew–who's crouching beside another girl that I couldn't see the face of. The girl was laying on her right side and got some scratches on her left elbow and arm.

"I don't know, we were walking down the beach, and she suddenly fell down. She keeps holding her leg here," She said pointing to the girl's hand that was holding her right calf tightly.

"Hi, sorry, can I see your leg for a moment?" I sounded weird but it's not important right now.

The girl could only nod and shifted her left leg, so I can see the other leg clearer.

There are a couple of small purple and black bruises on the side of her heel. I looked around the corals where we were standing, and I found a black spiky ball between the crack of the coral reef.

"Watch your steps. She's stung by a sea urchin," I said not wanting to have another victim, "Hey, is it okay if I pick you up? You need immediate treatment, and I don't think you can walk in this state," I told her.

She once again only nodded her head as the pain was numbing her tongue. I slipped my hand behind her shoulder and her knee to prop her weight. Her hair fell down, uncovering her face as I lift her up. It was Agnes.